Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Montana Barbies



HUNGRY HORSE BARBIE'
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Billings Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.



GREAT FALLS BARBIE'
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy truck with dark tinted windows, and a meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.



'WHITEFISH BARBIE'

This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.



'BIG SKY BARBIE'
She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named 'Belle' and a million dollar waterfront home. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.