Friday, September 28, 2012

"The Best TV Show That's Ever Been"

Danson: I'll tell you about the worst day of my life. Shelley and Rhea were carrying that week's episode, and the guys were just, "Let's play hooky." We'd never done anything wrong before. John had a boat, so we met at Marina del Rey at 8 a.m. We all called in sick, and Jimmy caught on and was so pissed. Woody and I were already stoned, and Woody said, "You want to try some mushrooms?" I'd never had them, so I'm handed this bag and I took a fistful. On our way to Catalina, we hit the tail end of a hurricane, and even people who were sober were getting sick. Woody and I thought we were going to die for three hours. I sat next to George, and every sixty seconds or so he'd poke me and go, "Breathe." [gasp] And I'd come back to life.
Harrelson: I was a little worried about him. It looked like his face was melting. I think I may have been freaking a little myself, but I had to be cool about it.

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Blackfoot Brewery

9 Pieces of Peace

This film is also about an extraordinary story of how the Missoula community reacted to a 30-foot-high graffiti peace symbol, which was painted on a Qwest telecommunications panel overlooking the valley. It unintentionally became a controversial public conversation about the subjective meanings of the peace symbol among veterans, peace activists and others within the community. The sign was both hated and revered for decades, serving as a metaphor for the conflict resolution process between peace advocates and veterans, and in general, the conflict resolution process on a larger scale.

The 35 Greatest Animal Photobombers Of All Time


Wednesday, September 26, 2012


When it comes to safely transporting an infant or toddler in a car there are hundreds of elaborately designed car seats to choose from. But when it comes to safely getting a trio of newborn growler bottles home from a brewery, you're expected to just toss them in you trunk and hope for the best. Well thanks to the Growler On Board, that's no longer the case.
Also referred to as the Beer Transport Unit—or BTU for short—the koozie-like foam support holds up to three bottles in a vertical orientation so there's less risk of them bouncing around, colliding with each other, or spilling. And while the $30 BTU is just as effective when placed on the floor or in the trunk of your car, for maximum safety you can even buckle it into the front seat so there's absolutely no risk of anything happening to your bottles. After all, you'd never think of throwing your kids in the trunk, would you? So why would you put your even more fragile microbrews at risk?


Want It!

Only Men.

Monday, September 24, 2012

No Evidence of Disease

My girlfriend Diane met Stephanie last October at a free makeup event for women with cancer called Look Good Feel Better. It was one of the curious get-togethers you get invited to when you are ill. Women showed up, got a make-up kit, and listened to some instruction in how to use it, including useful tips on drawing in the eyebrows (the most visually unsettling side-effect of chemotherapy).
Diane is not normally a makeup person, but she decided to attend on the principle that there should be some kind of benefit, any benefit, from being sick. She and Steph were the only two younger women present at the event, and they hit it off immediately.
Diane, who is 33, had just started chemotherapy for recurrent cervical cancer. Her initial tumor had grown undetected while she was serving in the Peace Corps in Romania. It was surgically (robotically!) removed after her return to the States in the autumn of 2010.
Surgery for cervical cancer has a very high success rate if you catch it early, and our oncologist had been optimistic. There would be no need for chemo. After the operation, Diane would have to come in for regular checkups, and if she made it through two years with no evidence of disease, it was likely the cancer was gone for good.
Once you've had cancer, no one will ever tell you you're healthy. The best you can hope for (and it's wonderful) is the little phrase ‘no evidence of disease’, often shortened to NED. This is less comforting than what you really want: a 100% guarantee that your body is cancer-free. But for many types of cancer the detection methods remain primitive. Absence of evidence is the best you can get.

This will be worth watching

The Sessions

Saturday, September 22, 2012

I like this:

Like paint on a slick canvas 

it would take a whole lot to stick 

but if we did,

we would be a masterpiece.

I have another chair if you want to come over.

Things about living in a house with no furniture and few possessions
I drop the mail on the living room table and it drops to the floor. I go to lay out a shirt for a run tomorrow and the only place to put it is  . . . ?

Gracie loves to run through the house wanting me to chase her. Which would be more fun for me if she weren’t running on hardwood floors.

The dust bunnies underneath my bed were so big that they chased the dog.

One thing about having few possessions – I have suddenly become very good at haiku. 

Thanks, Meg, for replying to the message I really didn't send to everyone and reminding me of these quotes from "Half-Baked."

Brian: Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make s'mores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Cap'n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on 'em, with water, whole lotta water, and Funyons. 
Kenny: That's it? 
Thurgood Jenkins: Yeah, get me a box of condoms, and, what was that thing we used to eat back in the day? What was it... oh yeah, pussy. 

Thurgood Jenkins: You have smoked yourself retarded.

Brian: Lady, seven bucks for a used Kenny Loggins record? I'll give you five. 
Record Store Customer: Ugh-huh, he autographed it himself. 
Brian: All right, I'll give you four.
(I saw recently that Kenny Loggins has sold the music rights for the song "Footloose" for a credit card company to change the lyrics. I'll give you two dollars.)

Thursday, September 20, 2012

I found a childhood picture of B.

I always love your attitude!


An Update On Kathy's Surgery

Dear Family and Friends,

Most of you know our friend Kathy went in for a surgical procedure for a Butt Lift at the Wal-Mart Medical Center . She didn't have the most pleasant experience. She should've left well enough alone.

We wanted to show you how it turned out. We hope this keeps YOU from having this done.

Please, PLEASE, PLEASE . . Don't get a Butt Lift at the Wal-Mart Medical Center . You will most certainly regret it.

One Less Thing To Worry About

One of the many lines of investigation during these Civil Defense tests, Project 32.2a, sought to answer a simple question: What will the survivors drink in the post-apocalyptic world? If the water supply is contaminated or otherwise dodgy, what about all of those cans and bottles that capitalist society churns out by the billions of gallons? The introduction to the final report explains that while lots of attention had been given towards the effects of nukes on food, beverages had been largely ignored:1
Consideration of the problems of food supply show the needs of humans for water, especially under disaster conditions, could be immediate and urgent. At various times some consideration has been given to special packaging of potable water, but since packaged beverages, both beer and soft drinks, are so ubiquitous and already uniformly available in urban areas,it is obvious that they could serve as important sources of fluids.

So what affect does a nuclear explosion have on beer? 

Just saying . . .

Vodka + Ice = Ruined Kidneys

Scotch + Ice = Ruined Stomach

Gin + Ice = Ruined Brain

That damned ice ruins everything!

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

A Great Way To Welcome Me To Missoula!

MBA Brewfest

A joke

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.

Lady 1: "What's that?"

Lady 2: "A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet."

Lady 1: "Where did you get it?"

Lady 2: "You can get them at any drugstore."

The next day ... Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.

Lady 1: "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel."

Sunday, September 16, 2012

They must have been high.

At election time in Massachusetts every voter gets a copy of the state produced 'Information Guide.' Inside this guide, with the usual pros and cons, are URLs for the folks leading the support or opposition. An interested voter clicked on the website, the listed opposition to a current medical marijuana initiative, only to discover THEY FORGOT TO REGISTER IT.
Now a parody site with a ton of fake "facts" about marijuana lives in its place. Did you know that "No marijuana smoker has ever been successful?"

A Clunky Interface But Interesting

This interactive graphic maps a country's most common Facebook connections with other countries. Choose a country or a language and see what you learn. 

Friday, September 14, 2012

Best TV Show I've Seen In A Long Time

A mysterious Man sits at a booth at the end of a diner. People approach him because they've heard The Man has a gift. He can solve their problems: A parent with a sick child, a woman who wants to be prettier, a nun who has lost her faith. The Man can give these people what they want. For a price. The Man makes a proposition. In exchange for realizing their desires, these individuals must complete a task, return to The Man, and describe every step in detail. The trick is that these tasks are things that would normally be inconceivable to them. But The Man never forces anyone to do anything. It's always up to the individual to start - or stop. The Booth at the End asks the question: How far would you go to get what you want?

Watch Here

All the Montana speeches from the DNC, right here

Perhaps you spent the last three nights watching people talk in an arena in North Carolina about politics and America and the future. Or, perhaps you were watching the kickoff of the NFL season, or attending school picnics, or playing softball under the lights at McCormick Park, or watching "Chopped" on Food Network, or otherwise occupied with something other than a lot of speeches and Wolf Blitzer. If you are in the latter category, you missed a few Montanans on the big stage.

Turn up your speakers and make it full screen!

Whatever's Comfortable. 

Thursday, September 13, 2012

OBAMA'S WARS >> Good Fighter, Can’t Cheerlead Worth A Damn

And boom, at last, Osama was dead. On Obama’s watch. Whoo-hoo! Let the victory parades begin!
Except there weren’t any. I remember real well the weird queasy hush after bin Laden died. Nobody ever tells the truth in this country, so nobody could talk about why Obama never got the cheers he expected, but we all know why. It’s simple: There are two tribes in America and neither one was in a mood to cheer. Obama’s liberal fans couldn’t cheer because they have some taboo about parading around with your enemy’s head on a stick. They think it’s crude or something, “a regrettable necessity”—you know that NYT editorial jabber they use.
And the other tribe, the flyover state white glob I come from, would sooner comp bin Laden a suite in Vegas than give Obama any creds for taking him down. They sulked through it like a confused, hungover Pillsbury doughboy; the way they saw it, Obama got bin Laden on a technicality. There’s always been a lot of Osama/Obama blur in the way they see things, and they might’ve been happier if it’d been Osama zapping that snotty Hawaiian instead of the other way around.

And his real base, the tiny little islands of rich happy people who floss twice a day and eat Kale chips — the sane crust floating on the redneck lava — they don’t even want him to help us get our blood-gloat on. So Obama trying to drag Osama’s corpse around — but trying to do it politely, so he didn’t offend the pious Prius people—it put everybody in a bad mood, all bummed and embarrassed. Like having a Unitarian preside when you sacrifice a goat.

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Tuesday, September 11, 2012

A Joke

Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for a little chat.

He said, 'Mike, let me tell you something.  On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.''

She did and said, 'These are too big.  I can't wear them.'

I replied, 'Exactly.. I wear the pants in  this family and I always will.'

Ever since that night, we have  never had any problems.

'Hmmm,' said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.

So....On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, 'Here, try these on..!

She tried them on and said, 'These are too large. They don't fit me.'

Mike said, 'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.  I don't want you to ever forget that.'

Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to Mike. She said, 'Here, you try on mine !

Mike did and said, 'I can't get into your panties.'

Karen said, 'Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will.'

From my favorite sick little monkey