Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Want It!

A good plan to live by

Not a joke, but is it a good idea?

1. Education is the KEY to a New Mexico’s Driver’s License

• Beginning next year, 8th grade students will need to demonstrate nearing proficiency or proficiency and beyond on the 8th grade New Mexico Standards and 9th graders will have to have 90% attendance to be eligible for a New Mexico Driver’s License.
• Failure to attain either benchmark will result in a 6 month delay in eligibility.
• Failure to reach both benchmarks will result in a one year delay.
• Students who dropout before the driver’s license eligibility age of 16 will also have to wait a year to receive their driver’s licenses based on the New Mexico law that states the legal dropout age is 18.

Marine and Navy Rules for Gun Fighting (follow link)

1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your friends who have guns.

2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.

Summer Concerts - Wanna go?

Big Sky
Wed 08/27/08 Bonnie Raitt

Sat 07/12/08 Nathan & The Zydeco Cha-Chas

Sun 08/10/08 Blackfoot
Sun 08/10/08 Eddie Money
Sun 08/10/08 Foghat

Great Falls
Thu 07/31/08 Kansas
Sat 08/02/08 Alice Cooper

Fri 07/11/08 Blue Oyster Cult
Fri 07/11/08 Foghat

Sat 07/19/08 Lisa Haley Cajun Street Dance

Fri 05/16/08 Hell's Belles - All Female AC/DC Tribute Band

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Big Brother comes to your cell phone

You see a crime, what do you do? Most people would just dial 911. But if you want to remain anonymous and there's no no pay phone around, you can now send a text message to the authorities.

Cell phone as boarding pass

In the future, air travelers across the country will be able to get their boarding passes sent to their cell phones.

Continental is testing a new system that allows people checking in via their cell phone to get their boarding pass sent directly to their phones. The electronic boarding pass, which has an encrypted two-dimensional bar code, can be used instead of a paper boarding pass to get through airport security and to board planes, according to a story published Tuesday in The New York Times.

Several U.S. airlines, including American, Continental, Delta, Northwest, Southwest, and Alaska, have already been allowing people to check-in for flights via their cell phones. But they still have to print out the tickets at a kiosk at the airport or a computer printer before they arrive at the airport. Continental is the first airline in the U.S. to test the new electronic passes.

What Nica gets when a hotel charges a dog fee

On the Madison

It looks like a great day for fishing but I didn't even get a bite.

It's the first thunderstorm of the year . .

and there is no way she's going to go outside.

Glendive 1912

An AAA Good Roads Official on his transcontinental auto trip passes the only road sign in evidence along the dusty, desolate road near Glendive, Mont.
By A. L. Westgard, July 1912

Sunday, April 27, 2008

An international perspective on the U.S. Presidential Election

"We in Denmark cannot figure out why you are even bothering to hold an election.

On one side, you have a bitch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, and a lawyer who is married to a bitch who is a lawyer.

On the other side, you have a true war hero married to a woman with a huge chest who owns a beer distributorship.

Is there a question or even a contest here?"

Thursday, April 24, 2008


Ask any question in conversational English from a cell phone. Call 800-2ChaCha and get the answer as a text message in a few minutes.

Logo Design Fail

Necessity of a Meeting

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The 11 Manliest Drinks In The World

2. Martini
Why is it manly?: Well, it’s pretty much straight alcohol, with just enough vermouth to remind you that you’re not drinking disinfectant. Plus, James Bond drinks it, and he bangs lots of chicks and beats the crap out of dudes with names that describe a hideous disfigurement they have that also provides them with some sort of physical superiority.
2 1/2 oz Gin
1 1/2 tsp Dry Vermouth
1 Olive

Saw this Charlie Russell series posted over a urinal in a bar.

Just a little sunshine.

Just a little rain.

Just a little pleasure.

Just a little pain.

Amnesty International has created an interesting ad.

I must be getting old . . .

Because I don't understand the point of this:

"From the patent application, which Apple filed in August 2007:

The GUI has a set of messages exchanged between a user of the device and another person. The set of messages (is) displayed in a chronological order. In response to detecting a scrolling gesture comprising a substantially vertical movement of a user contact with the touch-screen display, the display of messages (is) scrolled in accordance with a direction of the scrolling gesture."

I can kind of understand texting, because sometime you're in a meeting. But IM'ing on a phone sounds like more work than just talking.

Taxonomy Fail

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Not spring yet

Lincoln - Douglas Debates on ABC

STEPHANOPOULOS: I’m sorry to interrupt, but do you think Mr. Douglas loves America as much you do?

LINCOLN: Sure I do.

STEPHANOPOULOS: But who loves America more?

LINCOLN: I’d prefer to get on with my opening statement George.

STEPHANOPOULOS: If your love for America were eight apples, how many apples would Senator Douglas’s love be?



LINCOLN: In my opinion, slavery will not cease, until a crisis shall have been reached and passed. "A house divided against itself cannot stand." I believe this government cannot endure permanently half slave and half free.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Excuse me, did an Elijah H. Johnson attend your church?

LINCOLN: When I was a boy in Illinois forty years ago, yes. I think he was a deacon.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Are you aware that he regularly called Kentucky “a land of swine and whores”?

LINCOLN: Sounds right -- his ex-wife was from Kentucky.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Why did you remain in the church after hearing those statements?

LINCOLN: I was eight.

Friday, April 18, 2008


By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace.

Dr Phil proclaimed,
'The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished.'

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.

Want It!

The "Taurus Judge® " is so named because of the number of judges who carry it into the courtroom for their protection. Capable of chambering both .410 2-1/2" shotshell and .45 Colt Ammunition, this amazing combo gun is ideal for short distances - where most altercations occur, or longer distances with the .45 Colt ammo. We have finely tuned the rifling to spread the shot pattern at close quarters or to guide the .45 cal. bullet to the target. Fully customized with fixed rear sights, fiber optic front sights and Taurus Ribber Grips®, the "Taurus Judge" is one decision-maker that lays down the law.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The Only Six Things You Can Say For The Rest Of Your Life

I taught a workshop today on alternative communication systems for kids with autism. As an exercise to get people thinking about what is important to say, I asked the attendees to write down the only six phrases they can use for the rest of their life. On the back of an evaluation form I found this list:

I love you.

Azerbaijan learns English, gets pissed.

Summer Olympics

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Elevator Blues

Nick Paumgarten writes about the lives of elevators, and tells the story of Nicholas White, who was trapped in an elevator in New York City’s McGraw-Hill building for forty-one hours. Here is a condensed look at White’s ordeal, as captured by the building’s security cameras.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Truth Hurts

Why didn't Sherlock Holmes have to pay taxes?

He had brilliant deductions.

Newborn Brought Up on Sex Assault Charges

CLOVIS, NM — Just hours after being born, an allegedly sex-obsessed infant was taken into custody on charges of harassment.

A maternity nurse present at the birth of Ryan Sambora, the son of Gabriel and Mindy Sambora of Kingfisher Lane, called police after she determined the child had "enjoyed his time in the birth canal a little too much." The hospital worker, Valerie Shales, a six-year veteran of Gouldsborough Family Health Centers, said the woman was clearly in discomfort, even agony, while the son seemed "unwilling to dislodge himself from the mother's vagina."

"He cried in protest as soon as we got him out," Shales explained the ordeal. "He just seemed really determined not to leave Mindy's genitals in peace." Shales said she was obligated to notify the police by the hospital's zero-tolerance sexual-harassment policies.

The two CPD officers called to the scene were at first apprehensive about the allegations, and about detaining possibly the youngest sex offender in New Mexico history. Sgt. Chris Hernandez thought Shales might be "making a mountain out of a mole hill," he said, until he witnessed what he called "inappropriate touching."

"What changed it for me is we come in there and this kid, just without any shame, puts his lips to the mother's — you know, to her chest. We asked him to cease and desist and he wouldn't, so my partner Jake [officer Jacob Lukason] read him his Miranda rights and we took him in. He didn't put up much resistance, thankfully, or things could have turned out pretty bad for him."

Mindy Sambora pleaded with the officers and hospital staff to leave the baby with her. "He needs me! He didn't know any better! Why are they doing this to him?" she said during a brief interview that was frequently interrupted by her tears and outbursts of anger — signs that experts say are typical of the victims of sexual assault.

Ms. Shales, the nurse, said she understood Ms. Sambora's desire not to be separated from her son, but ultimately did what was best for her. "She has put a very brave face on this awful situation, but we all know that Stockholm Syndrome can affect the best of us. We're giving her all the care she needs, including valium, talk therapy, and an instructional DVD called 'You're Not Alone, You're Not to Blame.' "

Police have sent Ms. Sambora's rape kit to the forensics lab in Albuquerque and are expecting the results within a week. Deborah Healey, a spokeswoman for the District Attorney's office, declined to comment on the case, except to say that the investigation would look into claims by a local obstetrician that Ryan Sambora had repeatedly kicked Mindy, his mother, in utero. Ms. Healey conceded that, if true, "charges of aggravated battery may be considered, but we honestly don't want to get ahead of ourselves."

"Talk about a family tragedy," Sgt. Hernandez said during a phone interview, as the cries of an infant could faintly be heard in the background. "I feel real bad for the mother, and even for this young one we got in our care now. I reckon he may not have known that what he did was wrong. Still, ignorance of the law is no excuse."

Friday, April 11, 2008

i'll watch it

The science of red shirt deaths

i wish i had been erudite enough to have written this

"Your comment submission failed for the following reasons:
Text entered was wrong. Try again.

I admit this may be true in an epistemological sense, but in a formal sense, the text I entered was entirely innocuous."

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Things Found In Jeffery Dahmer's Bathtub

Olympic Torch Used To Ignite Tibetan Protesters

BEIJING—A universally recognized symbol of goodwill, the Olympic torch was used to immolate hundreds of Tibetan protesters during its journey across mainland China last week, in what is being called a stirring display of competitive spirit and Chinese nationalism.

Want It!

The 50 Greatest Comedy Sketches of All Time

Monday, April 07, 2008

April 7 - A Wonderful Anniversery

April 7 marks the 75th anniversary of the official beginning of the end for Prohibition. On the date in 1933, legal beer production resumed in the United States, sparking celebration among brewers and imbibers alike.

Friday, April 04, 2008

NCAA won't let you show clips of a game in progress? Use your kid's dolls

5 minute management course, Lesson 2

esson 2:
A priest offered a nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized, 'Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, opportunities for advancement will pass right by you.

Science News

Enacting city smoking bans appears to increase drunken driving, a study of arrests conducted by Wisconsin researchers asserts.
A national study to be released by the Journal of Public Economics found an increase of fatal accidents involving alcohol after communities prohibited smoking, compared to arrests in communities without a ban.
The authors attribute that to people driving to places without a ban, and also to driving farther to find a place within a ban area that has an outdoor smoking accommodation, such as a patio.

Sniper fire? That was nothing.

My fellow Americans, I drank a pint of walrus milk once for a bet. I speak fluent Eskimo. I once ate all the gherkins in Belgium. My brother's got a yak in his loft. I fell asleep on a night bus once and woke up in Munich, and had to get a lift back on a camel. I used to live on an iceberg. I've got a waffle-maker that works underwater."

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

USB Pregnancy Test

One line or two. Yes or no. Pregnancy tests are binary by their very nature. So when we found p-Teq's USB Pregnancy Test Kit that's chock full of extra scientific information, we knew we had to get this geeky goodness to our potentially spawning fans.

The process starts off like most pregnancy tests. You pee on a stick, specifically the absorbent test strip at one end. But everything's different after that first step. Remove the cap from the other end of the stick (cleverly provided to keep you from accidentally contaminating the wrong end) to reveal the USB connector. Pop it in your computer. The power from your USB port starts the electrospray ionization process, creating a spectrograph of the various masses for your analysis.

Driving to work