Friday, October 31, 2008

Last Minute Costume Idea

Golf shirt, pillows for fat, miller lite, marlboro lites and hooters napkins for added effect. If you want bonus points then get a blonde mullet for 1980's John Daly.

People's Stupidity Can Still Amaze Me

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

New Motivational Posters

A Good Movie

A satirical homage to high school educational films of the 1970s, this indie comedy is a how-to guide for Los Angeles hipsters looking to party, get smashed and hook up.

I Decorated My Yard Today

Why Dogs Should Attack

Montana Barbies

This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Missoula Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. She has no idea what Ken does for work. Cell phone and golden retriever dog sold separately.

She's perfect in every way, mainly due to the high levels of antidepressants in her system. We don't know where Ken is because he's always at church meetings. Available with 2.5 kids.

This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as newly built spec house in new sub division.

This Barbie now comes with a stroller and 2 infant dolls. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant. Warning: it is possible that Wolf Point Barbie will soon come with an additional infant.

Montana Barbies

This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Billings Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy truck with dark tinted windows, and a meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.


This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named 'Belle' and a million dollar waterfront home. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

Why Don't You Go Outside And Look At Russia?

Monday, October 27, 2008

German Police Seek Speeding Muppet

A Good License Plate for a Mercedes

A good read - The Feckin' Book of Everything Irish

Some good phrases I hope to use in conversation:

"Darker than the inside of a cow with it's eyes shut and it's tail down."

Euphemisms for being hungover - "Rough as a bear's ass."; "Sick as a plane to Lourdes."

Talking about a gossipy person: "She has a tongue that could clip a hedge."

John McCain yard signs in Helena are: "Scarce as shit from a rocking horse."

Video: Missoula Squabbles Over Urban Chickens

I used to have a girlfriend who lived next door to chickens. They were quiet, not smelly and Nica would sit for hours and watch them.

Black Friday ads are starting to leak

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Fun Idea, Bad Price

My New Favorite Song


Worried about a McCain win? Here's how to move to Canada

Oh what fun we had!

The Clumsy Lovers kicked ass - when's the last time you heard a band (with a fiddle) switch back and forth between AC/DC. "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" and, "You Are My Sunshine?"

I was one of the costume judges and although only one of the following won, there were some great costumes:

Salin Palin (five of them)
Joe The Plumber (four of them)
John McCain (2)
Hot Hockey Mom (1)
Marie Antoinette, who looked like she had been poured into her outfit and forgot to say, "When!" (but in a very, very good way.)
Sonny and Cher. Just as good as you ever saw them on TV.

There were also 15 zombie dancers from one of the local dance schools. They did, "Ghostbusters" and "Thriller." I haven't felt so "80;s" in 20 years.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Friday, October 24, 2008

Arkansas School for the Deaf

The name of their team is the "Leopards."

Which makes them the . . . Deaf Leopards.

A very good show

There are not enough musicals you can go to where you can throw toilet paper, toast and shoot a squirt gun.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I know where this is.

This Montana medical marijuana garden was photographed just before the fall harvest. Although state law authorizes the garden’s caretaker (lower center, waving) and others to grow the crop, federal law still considers the plant a dangerous drug with no medicinal value. Medical marijuana advocates provided this photograph to the Independent on the condition of anonymity.

Sarah found my dream home

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Driving to Work - over McDonald Pass and along the Clark Fork

Too many deer on my street

Yo Mama - the politics version

# Yo mama so fat, she authorized a $700 billion bailout of Dairy Queen.

# Yo mama so fat, she thinks sub-prime is a steak cut.

# Your mama so fat, when they asked which menus she reads, she said "You know, all of 'em."

# Yo mama's so ugly, Obama said "You can put lipstick on a pig and it would look a lot like yo mama on dollar margarita night."

# Yo moms so fat Russia can see her from *their* house.

# Yo mama such a ho, the tab for the federal bailout plan is "700 billion dollars, plus fifty cents to have sex with yo mama."

# your mama so stupid she tried to arrange the genres on her iPod to put Country First.

New Books for Kids

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

It's a dog's life.

I spent the day doing TA with a teacher.

Nica was sleeping on my king-size bed.

I'm in a hotel room cursing and revising a Powerpoint presentation.

Nica is hanging out at a knitting club and eating cookies.

Monday, October 20, 2008

College Debate Contests - it's not what you think.

The short Web video of the recently fired debate coach at Fort Hays State University, in Kansas, faux-mooning a University of Pittsburgh professor is spectacular theater. The aging, pony-tailed hippie (Mr. Shanahan) and the angry black woman (Ms. Reid-Brinkley) are facing off over whether Mr. Shanahan's debaters are racist for asking that Ms. Reid-Brinkley be removed from a debate's judging panel. As both drop f-bombs in front of the debaters, you can't help wondering whether conservatives are right about the looniness of campus liberalism.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Where did Elaine Solie Herman get the colors for her campaign ads?

Just noticing.

Slipping and Sliding

On the first play of the game and a snow-covered field, Fromberg freshman quarterback Jaymin Paugh has the ball stripped away during this Montana Class C six-man football game with visiting (and undefeated) Bridger.