Sunday, February 26, 2012

What does it feel like to have your spouse die?

New Josh Ritter Video

For starters, I think more teenagers should be fitted with shock collars. Read more: http://mtstandard.com/sports/tap-er-light-shocking-turn-of-event

For starters, I think more teenagers should be fitted with shock collars.
Seriously, other than a little shock, the "victim" had no visible signs of injury and didn't require medical attention.
Think about it for a second. K9s - dogs for the layperson - have to endure similar shocks every day, and the average dog can't handle the trauma of a person saying, "What's on the roof, boy? What's on the roof?"
Believe me, a 17-year-old athlete can handle just about anything a your poodle can.
In fact, since the dog doesn't understand exactly who or what is shocking him, the shock from a collar isn't nearly as distressful as being smacked on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.
Would you be so outraged if the Billings Senior player was bopped on the nose with The Billings Gazette? No way.
Likewise, it wouldn't be a huge deal if parents and coaches were allowed to use shock collars on the children as well.
Actually, coaches should be allowed to use shock collars on parents. That, though, is a column for another day.


Read more: http://mtstandard.com/sports/tap-er-light-shocking-turn-of-events/article_aca48454-5c32-11e1-a961-001871e3ce6c.html#ixzz1nVHIWQPT

Thursday, February 23, 2012

A Joke

Tom feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was In the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.'Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

No response..

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Peg, what's for dinner?'

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner?'

'For Gods sake, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!'

Americans love Hawaii, dislike California

We're number 6! We're number 6!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The Be Good Tanyas - Human Thing

Pills

My wife told me to go to the doctors and get some of those tablets that 'help' get an erection.

You should have seen her face when I came back and tossed her some diet pills!

I'm still looking for a place to live.

Brilliant!

Stuff




The Wisdom Cow Pasture Open

Wanna See It!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Further Signs of the Coming Apocalypse

Jenny McCarthy and Tim Tebow took the first step towards everlasting love by exchanging phone numbers at a radio event last week in Indianapolis, where McCarthy did a live interview with Rosie O'Donnell for SiriusXM Satellite Radio ahead of Sunday's Super Bowl.

  • (Photo: Reuters)<br>Does the Man upstairs want Tim Tebow to date Jenny McCarthy?
(Photo: Reuters)
Does the Man upstairs want Tim Tebow to date Jenny McCarthy?
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According to In Touch magazine, McCarthy told O'Donnell that she was "newly single" and "had a crush on Tim Tebow." Rosie knew that Tebow was in the same building to do an interview with another radio station, and dragged McCarthy over to him for an introduction.

"Rosie jumped up and took Jenny by the arm and walked her over to Tim. She said to him, 'Hi, I'm Rosie O'Donnell and this is Jenny McCarthy and she's single. I think you two would be perfect together. Now exchange telephone numbers.' Rosie then walked away," a witness reportedly told In Touch.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Stuff



Shampoo Warning

I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower. When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning:

"FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY."

No wonder I have been gaining weight! Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn dish soap instead.

Its label reads:

"DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."

Problem solved!

Sunday, February 05, 2012

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

A Joke

Shampoo Warning

I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower. When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning:

"FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY."

No wonder I have been gaining weight! Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn dish soap instead.

Its label reads:

"DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."

Problem solved!

If I don't answer the phone, I'll be in the shower!