Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Shoulda Seen This One Coming



Montana Ranch Vacation: Lazy EL Ranch
Grab your cowboy hat and boots and head to Montana for an authentic wild, west experience. This ranch week is the real “Brokeback Mountain.”

Dear West: Stop Overpricing Your Homes

Dear WREM,

Lately, I've benefitted and I've been bitten by your marvelous home sale market. I've made money (more than I should, I feel) and lost money (ahem!) on quaint homes in your hip, gotta-be-there cities.

But I've noticed, my dear WREM, that you have some ego problems. You seem to believe in the never-ending spike in your value, and that the line of suckers stretches for miles behind me.

Today, dear WREM, I believe you need to reconsider. You see, WREM, I've just seen the January existing-home sales figures. And, I hate to break it to you, but nobody's market is crumbling faster than yours.

(continued)

Celebrate International Dadaism Month

How many dadaist does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. Two to hold the giraffe and two to fill the bathtub with brightly colored power tools.



(Move along people. There's nothing to see here.)

Pictures of the Year

Monday, February 27, 2006

Verizon Phone Cheat Tip

When I call another Verizon subscriber and get their Voice Mail, is there a way that I can skip right to the beep (leave a message) and not go through the whole, "If you would like to page this person, press XX, to send a fax press . . . ?

Press the * (star) key.

Botswana Webcam

It's a live link to a pond in Botswana.

It's fun to watch on a cold winter night.

Get Your Geek On

It's a parody of Micro$oft and how they would do the packaging for the iPod.

I'll buy $5 on iTunes for the first geek to identify the music.

Giraffe Manor



I once hand-fed a giraffe. Their tongue is HUGE.

Having fed a giraffe is an item I use in playing "Two Truths and a Lie." The other is the time I told President Bill Clinton to go !@#$ himself.

Plague = Cooling Climate

"Europe's "Little Ice Age" may have been triggered by the 14th Century Black Death plague, according to a new study."

I love this kind of science. It's kind of like the "Viagra saves wildlife" theory which postulates that becauase Viagra works and is available in Asia poachers no longer have a market for black bear gall bladders which were said to cure impotence.

I just started reading a book about the Black Death Plague. In some areas up to 60% of the population was wiped out.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

So It's Come To This.

"I understand that you're probably really angry right now. Maybe you're reading a blog expressing that anger -- the anger that your state thinks it knows better than you what to do with your body. Maybe you're anxiously wondering where the nearest abortion clinic is, now that you will have to leave the state to get to one. If you have a serious medical condition, you might be doubling up on birth control methods, leading to a lot of worry and possibly negative side effects."

Saturday, February 25, 2006

2006 Things To Do - Visit all of Montana's Hot Springs Resorts



Two down, twelve to go. You can see my post from January 13 for a link to a listing of all the resorts.

I give Quinn's a 3/5.

The Good:
Honey-cured bacon for breakfast.
There is a big cave behind the cabins which is pretty cool.
We watched a bald eagle and a golden eagle try to muscle each other out of some airspace/territory.
The cabins (two-sided) are nice.

The Not-so good:
You are not staying there for less than $100 a night ($8 for a day soak).
Supper in the restaurant is at least $20. You MAY be able to order from the bar menu.
They have six pools - one is hot, one is warm, three are cool and one is the right temperature to keep your beer cold. The warmest ones are the smallest.

The Funny:
There are warnings to keep your kids and dogs on a leash to prevent attacks from the resident moose.

It only LOOKS like Nica is staring at a pile of sticks




She's actually trying to figure out how to break into a beaver lodge. She stood there the whole time we were fishing, sometimes quivering in anticipation but never could decide how to get in. Thankfully the ice at the lodge entrance was frozen or she might have tried a water attack.

Remember the Blue Moon Saloon in Divide on the Big Hole River?

It's gone now.



It still smells the same, though.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Overheard at the Old Saloon in Emigrant last week

"I peed on an electric fence for $50 one time. But that's nothing compared to what I did in welding school."

My Life With A Talking Dog

Everyone thinks that is cool to have a dog that "talks."

This is what it is really like.

I'm at the Dew Duck Inn



It's the most "grandmotherly" of hotel rooms:


But at least it has heat (and satellite and microwave and a fridge and wireless.)

Tomorrow nights' hotel will be a little more . . . . nice.

Oh Canada! A hockey game, a polar bear and somebody's mother.



Lydia Angyiou's kids sure won't be giving her much trouble any more now that they've seen her wrestle a 700-pound polar bear.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I am already taking bets for who can do this at our next staff meeting.

A fun exercise for your work meetings is to see who can work the most mundane item into the official minutes of the meeting. Some examples:

We will be purchasing a new pencil sharpener for public use.
The TPS Division reported adding a second address line to the TPS reports.
Bathroom lights should be turned off each night at closing.
Staff should turn off computer monitors each evening, but leave the PCs on for virus software updates.
All staff were reminded to refill ice trays in the staff lounge.

Want It!




Try to build on yourself!

Fire erupted at Chico Hot Springs Resort Monday evening

The blaze was discovered about 7:30 p.m. in a storeroom on the north side of the resort's hot water pool, according to General Manager Colin Davis.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

What song was Number One in the U.S. on the day you were born?

For me, it's, "Johnny Angel" by Shelley Fabares. I hate that song.

But it could be worse:

1977 ... "Don't Give Up on Us" by David Soul
1976 ... "Disco Lady" by Johnnie Taylor
1967 ... "Somethin' Stupid" by Nancy Sinatra & Frank Sinatra
1955 ... "The Ballad of Davy Crockett" by Bill Hayes
1953 ... "The Doggie in the Window" by Patti Page

Luck of the Irish

cALLAHan? We don't need no stinking cALLAHans.

"Yahoo! is banning the use of allah in email names - even if the letters are included within another name."

Have you ever tried to sell a diamond ring?

"An unruly market may undo the work of a giant cartel and of an inspired, decades-long ad campaign."

Unfortunately that never happened. I remember reading this article and thinking, "Hmm."

The diamond industry has continued through "blood diamonds" and has been successful at marketing the right hand diamond for women.

Volleyball is my girl

Score:
4-0
Doug serves.
13-0

I had 5 aces (ball not returned over the net). I'd serve to point A, get an ace and their team would shift to cover point A. I'd serve to point B, get an ace and their team would shift to cover point B. Repeat through D.

We were polite and didn't laugh too much, even though we won 5/5 games.

From the headlines to Legoland in less than a week

Monday, February 20, 2006

Next weekend I'm going to combine folf with snowshoeing

Having a bad day?

This will make you laugh so long as you ignore the crappy Window's Media Player. You might want to let it load all the way and then come back.

Mountain Lion Migrates Past My Mom's House

HELENA -- A mountain lion killed recently by a Lewistown hunter was radio collared three years ago in the Black Hills of South Dakota 450 miles away.

The lion was one of 65 collared to determine dispersal patterns of juvenile lions in the Black Hills, said Jonathan Jenks, a wildlife professor at South Dakota State University.

Another South Dakota lion was killed by a Montana hunter south of Custer in Treasure County, he said. Others in the study ended up in northwestern Minnesota and Oklahoma.

Mountain lions typically leave their mothers between 10 and 18 months of age. Because they are solitary animals, they look for territory that isn't already occupied by other lions, and often travel long distances.

The Lewistown lion was collared on Feb. 25th, 2003. It was killed by a Lewistown man on Dec. 31 in the Judith Mountains.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

My Trip To Yellowstone



I took a workshop in Yellowstone examining the relationship between prey species and scavenger species.

I was the only one who KNEW that "coyote" is properly pronounced with two syllables, not three.

But does it make more money than Starbucks?

A Good Read



It's a good detective story and provides some insight of the day-by-day practive of Buddhism.

The sequel, "Bangkok Tattoo" is also fun.

Death By Chocolate



Seated in individual compartments, twelve chocolate bullets lay waiting to be bitten into. Although eleven of the sweet little slugs contain delicious praline centres, one conceals a seriously red hot chilli that's guaranteed to blow your head off - metaphorically, at least.

Want It!



This is cool enough to make me want to build a fireplace in my house.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Good idea, bad beer.

The First Mac OS X Virus? (A New OS X Trojan

Update: It appears that there is some debate about the classification of this application, and as it does require user activation, it appears to fall into the Trojan classification, rather than self-propogating through any particular vulnerability in OS X.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

What Carried The Girls Away

This is interesting science:

" . . . , Oster began searching for data on hepatitis B and sex ratios. She found that among Alaska natives in the 1970's, there were both a high rate of hepatitis B and an overwhelming number of boys born. With the help of statisticians, she confirmed that when the hepatitis B vaccination became available in Alaska in the early 80's, the gender balance was restored. "

If you aren't registered for the New York Times try this information to login:

username: trynopasswords
password: bugmenot

Monday, February 13, 2006

How much would you pay for this coat?

I worked (poured wine) at an artists reception at the Holter Museum. This is one of the pieces of "wearable art."



It is made from indoor/outdoor carpeting and children's toys.



It sold for $1000.

If you get passed by a small green convertible with a husky in the back, this is me.

Cuteness Alert! Puppy Mover Monorail

10 Ways Dick Cheney Can Kill You.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

The Most Romantic Valentine's Day Story Ever.

The little old couple walked slowly into McDonalds that cold winter evening. They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night. Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking. "Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!"

The little old man walked right up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for their meal. The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray. There was one hamburger, one order of french fries and one drink. The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. Then he carefully counted out the french fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As the man began to eat his few bites of hamburger the crowd began to get restless. Again you could tell what they were thinking."That poor old couple. All they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man began to eat his french fries one young man stood and came over to the old couples table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple to eat. The old man replied that they were just fine. They were used to sharing everything.

Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink. Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy them something to eat. This time the lady explained that no, they were used to sharing everything together.

As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin the young man could stand it no longer. Again he came over to their table and offered to buy some food. After being politely refused again he finally asked a question of the little old lady. "Ma'am, why aren't you eating. You said that you share everything. What is it that you are waiting for?"


She answered, "The teeth."


Happy Valentine's Day!

This is part of a 10x30 foot student mural of animals watching Lewis and Clark.


I think they are otters.

Why Johnny Can't Spell.



Because his teacher can't be bothered to check the spelling of "ETIQUETTE" before it becomes a classroom rule.

Why Johnny Skips Science Class.


The experiments are a bit rough.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Conrad Burns courts more controversy

Someone from Sen. Conrad Burns' office apparently edited the senator's entry on the popular online encyclopedia Wikipedia in January to remove a controversial remark he had made about Arabs, the Web site reported Tuesday.

Among the questionable edits were the ones coming from an IP address linked to Burns' office. Wikinews attempted to contact the senator's staff about the changes, but phone calls were not returned.

The detail when you zoom in close is amazing.

In honor of the first manned Moon landing, which took place on July 20, 1969, we’ve added some NASA imagery to the Google Maps interface to help you pay your own visit to our celestial neighbor. Happy lunar surfing.

How about if YOU "take one for the team" ?

"Then they said something like, 'But what if people could die?'

And she answered that, 'We just have to take one for the team.'

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

A Bully Good Read!




After he lost the presidential election of 1912, Teddy Roosevelt embarked on an ill-prepared trip down an unknown river in the Amazon. The months-long journey was so difficult that President Roosevelt planned to commit suicide.


Read it now before the bugs of summer make you feel like you are just a little too close to the jungle insects of the Amazon.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Everyone wants to be a photographer.



I can't even sell pictures OF my dog much less pictures BY my dog.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Sometimes the old drugs are the best.

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila® can
help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about
anything.

You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can
overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila®.

Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However,
women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control,
loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and
Naked Twister.

Tequila®.... Leave Shyness Behind!!!!

Say hello to your new world....free from shyness!!

Can you find the BYU student?

Emperor Mike of the Death Cheese Bus

A Staten Island school-bus driver treated his passengers like prisoners in a penal camp, deputizing pre-teen enforcers to rough up rowdy students on board and dubbing himself "The Emperor," police charged yesterday.

Michael Cianci, 38, of Parlin, N.J., named his ride the "Death Cheese Bus" and assigned ranks to his sixth-grade charges, forcing them every day to recite a set of rules posted by his cup-holder, according to the criminal complaint.

The 12-tiered ranking system ran from "Lord (apprentice of the Emperor)" to "Sped," a derogatory term for someone in special-education classes. Other ranks included the Star Wars-themed titles "Darth," "Sith Warrior" and "Jaba."

"As hereby proclaimed by Emperor Mike of the Death Cheese Bus, unit five, sector seven of the gamma system, these laws are laid down upon us to hold order and restore power," the bizarro list of rules stated. "The penalty for breaking this code is banishment. And for a ranking of master or above, the penalty is death or severe beating."

The list specified that the emperor was the supreme leader, accountable to no one, that all lords must obey "Lord Matt," the Darths must obey all lords, and the masters follow the commandments of the Darths.

The wacko treatise closed with the ominous proclamation: "Mercy will not be tolerated."

Investigators said the reign of the "Death Cheese Bus" began last Nov. 1, when two 11-year-old students at IS 34 in Tottenville told their parents about the on-board shenanigans. The parents reported it to police.

Detectives arrested Cianci at the 123rd Precinct on Wednesday. He was released yesterday on $500 bail.

Cianci declined to comment after his arraignment, but his family leaped to his defense.

"My son is just a big, law-abiding, working slob," his mother said. "Whatever happened, it's either a mistake or an irate father trying to make trouble."

Saturday, February 04, 2006

One more round of pictures

The Sleeping Giant at sunrise

Dizzy video of Race To The Sky

One of the interesting things about the start of a sled dog race is that when the dogs are "in the chute" and waiting to start they are all barking and singing. But as soon as they start to run they get quiet.

The only sound you hear of an approaching sled dog team is the sled runners sliding over the snow. (And the musher.)


Before you click on the link put your right ear on your right shoulder.

I posted this mainly to remind myself that I don't have the video editing software to flip an image 90 degrees.

Race to the Sky movie

Here's another short movie of the start of the Race to the Sky.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Suggested Reading



From 1866 through 1969, the Hawaiian and American governments banished nearly 9,000 leprosy sufferers into exile on a peninsula on the Hawaiian island of Molokai.

Mood Rings for Women (and Men)

( I received this from a friend.)

My husband, unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green.

When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big fucking red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

How to get men to watch a chick flick

You just have to edit the previews to make it more exciting.

To us.

Another reason I'm glad I live in Montana

BEIJING, Jan. 24 -- Sales of adult diapers are booming as residents prepare themselves for long-haul journeys home on crowded trains for Lunar New Year.