Thursday, July 31, 2008

A Good Day on the Missouri

Girls = Boys in Math

Puppy survives attack by cougar

Women are cunning by nature

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.

'Are you the manager?' she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
'Actually, no,' he replied. 'Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,' she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
'I'm afraid I can't,' breathed the bartender. 'Is there anything I can do?'

'Yes. I need you to give him a message,' she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. 'What should I tell him?' the bartender managed to say.

'Tell him,' she whispered, 'There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room.

My New Favorite = 10 Ft. Ganja Plant

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Monday, July 28, 2008

15 reasons Mr. Rogers was best neighbor ever

Fido - A zombie comedy

How medical marijuana is transforming the pot industry.

In 2003, the California State Legislature passed Senate Bill 420. The law was intended to clear up some of the confusion caused by Proposition 215, which had failed to specify how patients who could not grow their own pot were expected to obtain the drug, and how much pot could be cultivated for medical purposes. The law permitted any Californian with a doctor’s note to own up to six mature marijuana plants, or to possess up to half a pound of processed weed, which could be obtained from a patients’ collective or coöperative—terms that were not precisely defined in the statute. It also permitted a primary caregiver to be paid “reasonable compensation” for services provided to a qualified patient “to enable that person to use marijuana.”

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Ever wonder what happens to that dead deer beside the road?

Not many want Larry Connell’s job. But after 29 years of removing road kill from Montana’s highways for the Montana Department of Transportation, he still has a sense of humor.

“If you get these soon enough, you can eat ‘em. From one grill to another, you know?”

Across four million miles of roads in the United States, 253,000 animal/ vehicle accidents occur annually, with 90 percent of those accidents involving deer. According to a Montana Department of Transportation advisory issued in 2005, collisions between automobiles and large animals have quadrupled in the past 20 years.

Gift Fail

A really, really good vacation

We spent Saturday sailing back and forth from Trevon's house on Flathead lake to a Cajun Festival. The 1 a.m. full moon sail was sublime.
We headed up to the North Fork of the Flathead to raft and fish for a couple of days.

The North Fork. The left shore is Glacier National Park (more on that later.)

A really, really good vacation

He who catches the biggest fish (on someone else's lure) . . .
loses a sleeve.

We did catch and release.
In bacon grease.

A really, really good vacation

Sunset on the North Fork of the Flathead.
What you do NOT want to find on your oar.
Paul can't sleep without his favorite pillow.
Trevon is Nica's favorite camping buddy.

While floating today we made the choice to take the left channel, only to be met by a couple dragging their canoe upstream. They said there was a log jam below and the channel was impassible. I decided to go around the bend and look. 20 minutes (and five bends) later I saw the log jam. On the way back to the boat I was busting through 6 foot tall grass and willows and wading in and out of the river when I came across . . . a grizzly print. A really big, made some time from that morning to yesterday afternoon grizzly print. It made the walk back to the boat a little more exciting.

A really, really good vacation - the end.

Spend a couple of days fishing the Big Hole RIver
Take a nice relaxing soak at Elkhorn Hot Springs
Fish the way home on a summer morning.

and finish up with a lovely invite from a lovely friend to go to a party on Canyon Ferry Lake where we spent the afternoon and evening tooling around on a jet ski and kayaking.

Morning on Wise River

Saturday, July 26, 2008

We've been on vacation.

(photo by Trevon Baker. Check out the Today In Montana link for Trevon's photos of prettier things.)

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Men's and Women's Prayers

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen all day long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh, send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows the answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to noend,
And always be my very best friend!


I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf
course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking.

This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit

Thursday, July 17, 2008

How I did not tear apart the space-time continuum today, thus destroying the world.

I decided at the last minute not to bring my Pirate Macbook to Steve's Old-Fashioned Barbershop so that I could edit digital photos while waiting for a haircut.

Tick Warning

This is the time of year to think of ticks once again.

If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!!

They only want to see you naked.

I wish I'd gotten this yesterday.** I feel so stupid. **

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

A joke

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Do you want to play a game? See those two rib-eyes nailed to the ceiling? You get to throw one dart. If you hit one, you get to take them home and I'll give you a free drink."

The man says, "No thanks, the steaks are too high."

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Bad Danish Commercial

Maybe NSFW - no nudity but people don't tan with all their clothes on.

Eh, not so scary

When letters fall off signs.

Parental IQ versus child's age

I found out today that I have CDO

it's like OCD* but with the letters in the alphabetical order.

*Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Saturday, July 12, 2008

The Netflix Box - It Rocks

$100 dollars and a Netflix subscription of at least $9 a month gets you access to unlimited movies that Netflix has available for instant viewing. Some are old and cheesy, but others are new.

How to be really, really stupid.


Bumper Sticker of the Week

"I brake for saucy wenches."

Some people have no fashion sense.

Just look at his tie - that is sooo 1987.