Saturday, June 30, 2007

What I did on Friday


We went to the Brewery Follies in Virginia City. I haven't laughed that hard for that long in a very, very long time. They have four actors, two male, two female. They tell jokes, sing dirty songs, do skits about LSD and Paris Hilton and aging rock starts, etc. Here's one of the "clean" jokes:

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts cost $1.29, deer nuts are usually under a buck.

The show is a must see and it's more fun because your waitress is your actress is the singer is the person hawking t-shirts at intermission. Check out some of the videos on the link.

Graffitti

"A cigar is a banana for the monkey of the soul."

Friday, June 29, 2007

Suicide Food

What is Suicide Food? Suicide Food is any depiction of animals that act as though they wish to be consumed. Suicide Food actively participates in or celebrates its own demise. Suicide Food identifies with the oppressor. Suicide Food is a bellwether of our decadent society.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Mitt Romney's Shaggy Dog Story


As the oldest son, Tagg Romney commandeered the way-back of the wagon, keeping his eyes fixed out the rear window, where he glimpsed the first sign of trouble. ''Dad!'' he yelled. ''Gross!'

Sunday, June 24, 2007

It's fun to have guests who giggle

The George W. Bush Conspiracy Theory Generator


* This tool may not be used to create Democratic presidential candidate speeches or generate content for MoveOn.org without the express permission of Buttafly.com.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Afrigadget - a pretty cool blog


African ingenuity, like a bicycle converted to a traveling knife sharpener or a homemade welding machine.

Friday, June 22, 2007

How we celebrate the summer solstice in Montana


We floated at 90 degrees, had a short sprinkle of huge raindrops while the sun was shining, stopped for a martini, caught fish and came off the river at dark.

It was a pretty good day.

Apple's New iPhone

Apple is set to release the much-hyped iPhone Friday, June 29. Here are some of its most highly anticipated features:

Nanotechnology enables it to reassemble itself when thrown against wall
Exclusive link to Google Street View so you can watch yourself using your iPhone at all times
Takes Polaroids
When moved from hand to ear, makes Lightsaber sound effects
Prominent Apple logo
Reproduces through asexual budding
Has way, way more PRAM than the last thingy

Comes with an iPhone hat, so people know you own an iPhone during the brief periods you're not using it

Montana Football Plays Defense

Minisode - Bad TV in less time


On its online network Minisode, Sony is making more than 500 episodes of shows such as Charlie's Angels, Starsky & Hutch and Different Strokes available free, in condensed form. Its tagline: "The shows you love. Only shorter."

When online newspapers only do partial updates

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

A disarming story about political correctness run amok.

I have always wanted a Tesla coil, now I want one more

It's a whole new world out there.


I just received an email a friend sent wirelessly from the Jersey Lilly.

Ingomar isn't the edge of the known world, but it's close enough to walk to the edge. It's one of the last places I would have expected to find wireless access.

FAT IS ONLY UGLY UNTIL YOU PUT A NIPPLE ON IT!

You'll have to follow the link to find the pictures that explain this.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Great, another problem to worry about with my golf game

A Wildcreek golfer who hit a bad shot this evening started a brush fire that consumed 15-20 acres northeast of the golf course, fire officials said.

Scary restaurant buffet video

I don't know what is worse - trying to figure out which of the breaded seafood is "fresh", the scary music or the empty restaurant where I keep expecting zombies to break in at any second.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Worth Watching


Set in contemporary Moscow, NIGHT WATCH (NOCHNOI DOZOR) revolves around the conflict and balance maintained between the forces of light and darkness — the result of a medieval truce between the opposing sides. As night falls, the dark forces battle the super-human “Others” of the Night Watch, whose mission is to patrol and protect.

(Click on the link to watch a trailer.)

Road Signs




"Townsend, Montana. Where you don't lose your girlfriend, you just lose your turn."

This one goes out to the Creationists

Camping at 45 degrees with 15 mph winds

I want to do this with local TV

June 17, Czech artistic group ZTOHOVEN (a pun meaning „out of it" when read or hundred shits spoken) interfered on Czech TV broadcast.

Members of ZTOHOVEN connected up to one of the stationary camera during TV weathercast and in real time broadcast their own shots, which showed nuclear exposion.

Driving to work this morning . . .

I rear-ended a car at a stoplight, whilst not really paying attention.

The driver got out.. he was a dwarf.

He said, "I'm not happy"...

I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

Sunday, June 17, 2007

I want to join the Swedish Army



I've never seen the U.S. Army slide a tank sideways in an icy parking lot while listening to heavy metal music.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Friday, June 15, 2007

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Want It!

A nice sunset tonight

Space Aliens get better at crop circles

Kayaking Big Timber Creek - Slideshow


With an average elevation drop of 720 feet per mile, the Big Timber Race — according to organizers — is the steepest kayaking race in the world.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

President Bush gets his watch stolen in Albania

Dog name, cat name or kid name?

" . . . The results show that, among these relatively high-end pet owners at least, “Molly” is the No. 1 name for both cats and dogs (as well as being the “Whitest Girl Name in America” as per Freakonomics). Note that “Muhammad” is nowhere to be found.

As Callahan notes on her blog, the pet list overlaps heavily with the same year’s 100 most popular children’s names in England and Wales."

How your mouse works

Monday, June 11, 2007

36 Hour Cialis Ad

Starring Cuba Gooding Jr.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

How to use punctuation

This pretty much explains why I have not pursued advancement in state government.

The Minister’s Cabinet

(Christopher Bailey reports the Minutes of the April Council Meeting at St. Barnabas Lutheran Church, Blandville)

Mrs. Woodstock called the meeting to order at 7:12 P.M., Pastor Hamilton having been delayed by an unusually long line at Starbucks. The meeting began with the reading of the minutes from the March meeting. Mrs. Woodstock asked for a motion to accept the minutes.
Mrs. Blickensderfer pointed out that “blithering” is spelled with only one r.
Mrs. Woodstock asked for a motion to accept the minutes as amended. The motion was made by Mrs. Voss and seconded by Mr. Fox, and carried by a vote of 7 to 1.

Under Old Business, Pastor Hamilton mentioned that the light bulb in his pulpit reading lamp is still burned out. Mrs. Woodstock asked him whether that was the reason he had embarrassed the whole congregation during the Psalm last Sunday. Pastor Hamilton answered that it was.
Mrs. Blickensderfer said she thought the light-bulb problem had been remanded to the Building Committee.
Mr. Sholes said that no record of any such remandment appeared in the minutes of the March meeting.
Mrs. Blickensderfer said she didn’t think “remandment” was a word.
Mr. Fox thought that the pulpit was under the jurisdiction of the Worship and Music Committee.
Mrs. Yost thought that the lighting was the responsibility of the Evangelism Committee.
Mr. Fox wanted to know what sort of dunderhead thought lighting had anything to do with evangelism.
Mrs. Woodstock pointed out that it made no difference, since the Building Committee, the Worship and Music Committee, and the Evangelism Committee were all Mrs. Voss.
Mrs. Voss answered that she didn’t know anything about electricity, and if people wanted her to take care of something they should tell her about it instead of expecting her to read their minds.
Mr. Dhiatensor said something in the language he speaks, which we think might be Portuguese.
Pastor Hamilton said that the replacement of a light bulb was really a very simple matter, and that he would have taken care of it himself except that the last time he bought something for the church he was informed that he could not be reimbursed unless the expense had the prior approval of Council.
Mrs. Woodstock asked him whether he really believed that Council would have given its prior approval for an espresso machine.
Pastor Hamilton thought Council would have, since the machine was essential to his continued effectiveness as a minister of the Word.
Mrs. Woodstock asked him whether he believed in the Tooth Fairy as well.
Mr. Sholes said that the matter under discussion was the light bulb, and not the espresso machine, which had already been discussed at length at the January meeting.
Mrs. Voss was of the opinion that someone should just go out and get a light bulb and be done with it.
Mrs. Woodstock asked her whether she was volunteering.
Mrs. Voss repeated that she didn’t know anything about electricity.
Mrs. Blickensderfer asked whether the church didn’t have any spare light bulbs sitting around in the closet.
Pastor Hamilton reminded Council that the lamp in the pulpit uses a halogen bulb, and thus ordinary spare light bulbs are of no use.
Mrs. Woodstock thought that the next time the church bought a lamp, someone ought to make sure it took regular light bulbs like normal people use.
Pastor Hamilton said that there were many advantages to halogen bulbs.
Mr. Dhiatensor became very agitated and spoke rapidly about something, then stomped out of the room.
Mrs. Voss wondered whether “halogen” meant something obscene in Spanish.
Mrs. Yost said that she had always thought he was speaking Romanian.
Mrs. Blickensderfer said that at any rate someone ought to apologize to him, because Mr. Dhiatensor seemed like such a nice man.
Mr. Fox moved that Council convey its apologies to Mr. Dhiatensor for inadvertently offending him. The motion was seconded by Mrs. Blickensderfer, and carried by a vote of 7 to 1.
Mr. Sholes asked who was going to write the letter.
Mrs. Woodstock thought that would be the responsibility of the Worship and Music Committee.
Mrs. Voss said that she didn’t know Spanish, and anyway she couldn’t type.
Mrs. Woodstock said, fine, she would write the letter herself.
Mrs. Yost moved that Council authorize Mrs. Woodstock to write a letter of apology to Mr. Dhiatensor on behalf of Council. The motion was seconded by Mrs. Voss and carried by a vote of 7 to 1.
Mrs. Woodstock asked Mrs. Underwood if she would mind explaining, purely for Council’s information, why she had to vote no on every damn motion.
Mrs. Underwood said that it was quite clear that no one else on Council cared about the health of the congregation, which was threatened daily by an onslaught of communicable diseases.
Mrs. Woodstock said that the vote on a new hand dryer for the women’s restroom had been taken in February, and most of Council had decided that paper towels were good enough for them.
Mrs. Underwood said that was fine, but they shouldn’t expect her to cooperate with a Council that didn’t care if the entire congregation died of bird flu.
Pastor Hamilton asked whether any decision had been reached in the matter of the light bulb.
Mr. Fox said he didn’t think so.
Mr. Sholes said that the problem was figuring out what sort of bulb the lamp used.
Mrs. Voss suggested that someone could just take the old bulb to a store and find one like it, although she added that she herself didn’t know anything about electricity.
Mrs. Woodstock asked for a motion to authorize someone to go to the hardware store with the bulb, and come back with a new one.
Mr. Sholes said the problem with that was that no one knew how much a new bulb would cost, and until Council knew the cost it would be impossible to authorize the expense.
Mrs. Woodstock asked him what he would suggest.
Mr. Sholes suggested that an ad hoc committee could take the bulb to the hardware store, obtain the information about how much it would cost to replace, and report the cost to the next meeting of Council. Otherwise he didn’t see how it would be possible to authorize the expense.
Mrs. Woodstock asked him whether he would be willing to be part of the ad hoc committee. Mr. Sholes said that he would, and suggested that Mr. Fox would be a good second member.
Mr. Fox explained that, for reasons he would rather not discuss, he was no longer welcome at Blandville Hardware.
Mrs. Yost volunteered to go with Mr. Sholes to the hardware store, if he promised not to exceed the speed limit on State Street.
Mrs. Woodstock asked for a motion to form an ad hoc exploratory committee consisting of Mr. Sholes and Mrs. Yost for the purpose of taking the burnt-out light bulb to Blandville Hardware and finding out how much it would cost to replace, the cost to be reported to Council at the May meeting, at which time Council would be in a position to be able to authorize the expense of a new light bulb.
The motion was made by Mrs. Voss and seconded by Mr. Fox, and carried by a vote of 7 to 1.
Christopher Bailey , a Lutheran, writes about everything from Arthurian mythology to wireless networking. He spent a decade on the Upward Path in corporate America, but now must be counted among the backsliders.

“The Minister’s Cabinet” first appeared in the June, 2007 issue of Touchstone.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Want It!


Tetris Fridge Magnets.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Brilliant? Or stupid?

A thought I had today in the grocery store: When I can't find an item, let me send a text message to the grocery store saying, "pizza sauce" and get an immediate reply saying, "Aisle 15 B."

Brilliant Idea


In an effort to fight illegal advertising, city workers now paint, "Cancelled" over concert advertisments. If everyone thinks the concert is cancelled, there is not incentive to put up illegal advertisements.

Worst subdivision name ever?

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Even if he's telling the truth, it's still a weird story.

When asked if he had a sexual relationship with the driver, Johnson said: "It's probably out of bounds, but the answer is no. Obviously, if I had a sexual relationship with this individual, I'd know it was a man, wouldn't I? I'm not interested in men, period."

DON'T want it!

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

A good story on a bear attack

Remember when the father and daughter got attacked by a griz in Glacier last year? This is their story from the Missoulian.

Steam (Star) Trek - the early years


Star Trek as an early black and white movie.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

A good day sailing but . . .


a cell phone picture isn't as good as remembering your camera.