Tuesday, November 30, 2010
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead".
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one."
"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse. "
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."
"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"
"Yes, Senor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Rod."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"
"Your wife's, Senor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft."
SILENCE........... LONG SILENCE.........VERY LONG SILENCE.
"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep shit!"
Monday, November 29, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Sunday, November 07, 2010
House Democratic leaders signaled a desire Sunday to avoid internal leadership battles in an effort to forge party unity, a move that would leave the same team in place that oversaw the worst political rout in 72 years.
Rep. Chris Van Hollen (Md.) that efforts are underway to avert an ideological leadership campaign that would pit House Majority Leader Steny H. Hoyer (Md.) and Majority Whip James E. Clyburn (S.C.) against each other for the position of minority whip.
Hoyer, 71, has been considered the leadership's bridge to conservative Democrats and Clyburn, 70, is the highest-ranking African American congressman ever. They spent the weekend making calls in an effort to secure enough votes for the No. 2 leadership post after the decision byHouse Speaker Nancy Pelosi (Calif.) to remain in power next year as minority leader.
Pelosi's leadership team faces what could be an equally problematic issue. Many rank-and-file Democrats are enraged about the loss of 60 or more seats. Some are also disenchanted with the leaders in their 70s who have served in the top three spots for the past five years, with Pelosi and Hoyer being Nos. 1 and 2 for the past eight years, according to interviews with lawmakers, top aides and outside advisers.
Republicans, thinking that the election was a rejection of Pelosi's liberal agenda, are ecstatic about the prospect of her leadership team remaining intact.
Thursday, November 04, 2010
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also.
Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence. The robber yelled, 'Well, did anyone else see my face?'
There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak.
Then, one old cowboy tentatively raised his hand, and while keeping his head down said, 'My wife got a pretty good look at you."
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Monday, November 01, 2010
I could be mistaken, but I believe this is the widely used but little acknowledged 'archeological' filing system, a default of the brilliant-but-absentminded and not-so-brilliant-and-lazy professionals everywhere.
The system is beautiful in its simplicity, and for certain cases, extremely efficient, though admittedly, there are numerous cases where searchtimes can go well beyond O(n^2)
In a nutshell, it may described by the statement "The deeper it is, the older it is." This is usually implemented as one or mores stack (FILO) structures. In theory, this ordering can be maintained indefinitely, but extreme care is necessary.
In practice, however, those most likely to use this system are not willing or able to maintain the structure, and set items are apt to 'drift' randomly in their position in the stack, or unexpectedly shift to a different stack altogether. Lost set members are common, often ending up in a non-searchable null stack and considered unretrievable, unless or until the system is reset, which requires a time-consuming audit. Rather perversely, some adherents claim this as a feature of the system, saying "If I haven't found it in over a week, it must not have been that important anyway."
"Mark 11:12-14 The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. 14Then he said to the tree, 'May no one ever eat fruit from you again.' And his disciples heard him say it."