Friday, December 30, 2011

I'm bored. What should I balance on my face?

Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever


Tollers are named for their ability to entice or lure waterfowl within gunshot range, called "tolling". The hunter stays hidden in a blind and sends the dog out to romp and play near the water, usually by tossing a ball or stick to be retrieved. Appearing similar to a fox, the dog's unusual activity and white markings pique the curiosity of ducks and geese, who swim over to investigate


How To Do Yoga

Wednesday-Weird-Bible-Verse: 200 foreskins as a wedding price for a bride

The first weird Bible verse he tackles is 1 Samuel 18:27: "David took his men with him and went out and killed two hundred Philistines and brought back their foreskins. They counted out the full number to the king so that David might become the king’s son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage.

(Don't forget to read the comments.)

The 50 funniest tweets of 2011.



Saturday, December 24, 2011

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Bad Santas

Mounties in North Vancouver, B.C., are on the lookout for two Santas who got into a brawl with a patron at a local pub.

Police were called to the Rusty Gull Pub at about 11 p.m. PT Friday night to reports the two Santas got into a fight with an unidentified man, who ended up in hospital for treatment.

"By the time our officers arrived at the pub, the two Santas had disappeared, if you will, and the patrols were negative," said RCMP Cpl. Richard de Jong.

"So at this point we are on the lookout for two Santas, but we figure they'll be lost in the woodwork."

The victim was taken to hospital with minor injuries and has since been released. He does not plan to press charges if the Santas are found.

"This time of year I think people get into the spirit of the Christmas celebration and it's a pretty good disguise to have considering the 'Christmas cheer' that probably enabled their behaviour to get to the point where it did," de Jong said.

"Somebody asked, 'Were they regular patrons of the pub?' and I said, 'No. I think they just come once a year.'"

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Friday, December 09, 2011

Notes from the Field: Campylobacter jejuni Infections Associated with Sheep Castration — Wyoming, 2011

On June 29, 2011, the Wyoming Department of Health was notified of two laboratory-confirmed cases of Campylobacter jejuni enteritis among persons working at a local sheep ranch. During June, two men had reported onset of symptoms compatible with campylobacteriosis. Both patients had diarrhea, and one also had abdominal cramps, fever, nausea, and vomiting. One patient was hospitalized for 1 day. Both patients recovered without sequelae. During June, both patients had participated in a multiday event to castrate and dock tails of 1,600 lambs. Both men reported having used their teeth to castrate some of the lambs. Among the 12 persons who participated in the event, the patients are the only two known to have used their teeth to castrate lambs.

Go ahead, press the button.

Wolves Chasing Bison

The Science of Lines

It's True!

The 12 All-Time Ugliest Christmas Sweaters

Wal-Mart Chairs--Do NOT Buy

Wal-Mart Chairs--Do NOT Buy

Another serious problem with
defective Chinese products, where will it end!!
Beware!!!!!!!
Wal-mart is selling lounge chairs made in China, and the plastic is very, very cheap and thin.
Purchase at your own risk!!!!!
****

Those cheap Wal-Mart chairs.
Don't buy them, or this could happen to you or a loved-one!!!




Wednesday, December 07, 2011

A Griz Joke

The year is 2036 and the United States has just elected the first woman as President of the United States.
A few days after the election, the president-elect calls her father in Montana and asks, "So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?"
"I don't think so. It's a long drive; your mom isn't as young as she used to be, we'll have the dog with us, and my arthritis is acting up in my knee."
"Don't worry about it, Dad, I'll send Air Force One or another support aircraft to pick you up and take you home, and a limousine will pick you up at your door," she said.
"I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?"
"Oh, Dad," she replied, "I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom-made by one of the best designers in New York."
"Honey," Dad complained, "You know we can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat."
The President-elect responded, "Don't worry, Dad. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in D.C. and I'll ensure your meals are salt-free. Dad, I really want you to come."
So her parents reluctantly agreed, and on January 20, 2037, arrived to see their daughter sworn in as President of the United States.
The parents of the new President are seated in the front row. The President's dad notices a senator sitting next to him and leans over and whispers, "You see that woman over there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States?"
The Senator whispered in reply, "Yes I do."
Dad says proudly, "Her brother played football for the Griz."

Jokes

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.


Keep reading-they get better!!!



WOMEN'S REVENGE

'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet
, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'


I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for
a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers,
'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure
if I have to roll my own . so does she...

(I figure this guy is the
one on the milk carton!)


A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'


A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'



A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and sobeautiful all at the same time. 'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would beattracted to you!



A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.' Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . 'HEBREWS'



A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up..'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.



God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.