Wednesday, October 31, 2007

How fast can you drive across the USA?

The gear is all bought and loaded. Twenty packs of Nat Sherman Classic Light cigarettes, check. Breath mints, check. Glucose and guarana, Visine and riboflavin, Gatorade and Red Bull, mail-order porta-pissoir bags of quick-hardening gel, check.
Randolph highway patrol sunglasses, 20-gallon reserve fuel tank, Tasco 8 x 40 binoculars fitted with a Kenyon KS-2 gyro stabilizer, military spec Steiner 7 x 50 binoculars, Hummer H1-style bumper-mounted L-3 Raytheon NightDriver thermal camera and LCD dashboard screens, front-and-rear-mounted sensors for a Valentine One radar/laser detector, flush bumper-mount Blinder M40 laser jammers, redundant Garmin StreetPilot 2650 GPS units, preprogrammed Uniden police radio scanners, ceiling-mount Uniden CB radio with high-gain whip antenna. Check. Check. Check.
At the moment, the driver and copilot of this E39 BMW M5 are illegal in intent only as they obediently cow along the tip of Manhattan, funnel into the Holland Tunnel, and spill out into New Jersey along a six-lane mash-and-merge. The speedometer reads a cool 60 miles per hour; the clock reads 9:12 pm.

Want It!

The Eye-Fi Card comes with everything needed to make it simple to set up and connect to your home Wi-Fi network. After that, pop the card into your digital camera and start capturing those memories. It stores pictures like a regular SD card no matter where you are, and uploads your photos automatically as soon as you return to your home network. All you have to do is turn the camera on.

Want It!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

It's a catchy tune about . . . condoms.

May be nsfw. It's in Hindi, but does feature dancing condoms.

Cocaine plane? What cocaine plane?

Recently-released FAA records from the Gulfstream II business jet that went down in Mexico a month ago with four tons of cocaine reveal that before it was “parked” in the name of a New York real estate developer with ties to the Russian Mob, the plane was owned by a secretive Midwestern media baron and Republican fund-raiser, who had a business partner who, incredibly, owned the other American drug plane, the DC9, recently busted in Mexico.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Want It!

Blogger sucks. There has been an image loading problem for over 10 days now.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Behind Enemy Lines With a Suburban Counterterrorist

In her small, one-chair home office in Montana, I sit beside Rossmiller on a little tiled table normally reserved for a lamp. Outside, the vistas stretch across Big Sky Country to the Elk Horn Ridge Mountains. Inside, Rossmiller shows me what she does as perhaps America's most accomplished amateur terrorist hunter.

More than you thought you would ever know about anteaters.

complete with video

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Look at this dog

Skynet is becoming aware

The Storm worm is fighting back against security researchers that seek to destroy it and has them running scared, Interop New York show attendees heard Tuesday.

The worm can figure out which users are trying to probe its command-and-control servers, and it retaliates by launching DDoS attacks against them, shutting down their Internet access for days, says Josh Korman, host-protection architect for IBM/ISS, who led a session on network threats.

“As you try to investigate [Storm], it knows, and it punishes,” he says. “It fights back.”

As a result, researchers who have managed to glean facts about the worm are reluctant to publish their findings. “They’re afraid. I’ve never seen this before,” Korman says. “They find these things but never say anything about them.”

And not without good reason, he says. Some who have managed to reverse engineer Storm in an effort to figure out how to thwart it have suffered DDoS attacks that have knocked them off the Internet for days, he says.

Friday, October 19, 2007

i'm canada and the shift key came off my laptop

but you can still see some pictures of victoria, where it's rained about an inch since we got here.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

So weird it's cool

The pocket protector museum.

(Blogger isn't posting images tonight.)

You know you grew up in eastern Montana when . . .

1) You can name everyone you graduated with.

2) You know what 4-H means.

3) You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit, or in the middle of a dirt road. On Monday you could always tell who was at the party because of the scratches on their legs from running through the prairie.

4) You used to drag Main .

5) Most people had a nickname.

6) You scheduled parties around the schedules of different police officers, because you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't.

7) You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough, they'd tell your parents anyhow.) Besides, where would you get the money?

8) When you did find somebody old enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes, you still had to go out into the country and drive on back roads to smoke them.

9) You knew which section of the ditch you would find the beer your buyer dropped off.

10) It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town.

11) The whole school went to the same kegger after graduation.

12) You didn't give directions by street names but rather by references. Turn by Nelson's house, go 2 blocks to Anderson's, and it's four houses left of the track field.

13) The golf course had only 9 holes.

14) You couldn't help but date a friend's ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.

15) Your car stayed filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.

16) The town next to you was considered 'trashy' or 'snooty,' but was actually just like your town.

17) You referred to anyone with a house newer then 1955 as the 'rich' people.

18) The people in the 'big city' dressed funny, and then you picked up the trend
2 years later.

19) Anyone you wanted could be found at the local gas station or the Dairy Queen.

20) You saw at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town or one of your friends driving a grain truck to school occasionally.

21) The gym teacher suggested you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.

22) Directions were given using THE stop light as a reference.

23) When you decided to walk somewhere for exercise, 5 people would pull over and ask if you wanted a ride.

24) Your teachers called you by your older siblings' names.

25) Your teachers remembered when they taught your parents.

26) You could charge at any local store or write checks without any ID.

27) There was no McDonalds.

28) The closest mall was over two hours away.

29) It was normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn mower.

30) You've peed on sagebrush.

Monday, October 15, 2007

A Joke.

A traveling salesman's car breaks down on a rural road right near a farmhouse.

The farmer tows the car in with his tractor, and tells the salesman he'll have to sleep there overnight before he can get him or his car into town.

He calls his nubile daughter, and the three of them begin searching the area for a punchline that has not already been used with this joke.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007


There goes a kid driving a stereo

Let’s be honest here. How loud do you need to play your music in order to enjoy it? I don’t care whether it’s metal, hippity-hop, jazz, bubble-headed pop country, or Ethel Merman singing “Everything’s Coming Up Roses,” you can get your fill without bending the windows of Pizza Hut as you drive past. These specimens who lay out more cash for a sound system than they ever will for college tuition are making only one statement: “Look at me.”

. . . continued

Monday, October 08, 2007

The Politically Correct get upset about a Halloween costume

Halloween is around the corner. And with it comes an annual chance for normally conservative women to dress like sluts and local cougars to blend in a little better. This year adds to the old standards of slutty nurse, slutty catwoman, and slutty police officer with slutty eating disorder by introducing the “Anna Rexia” costume. We doubt they grasp the irony of stuffing a busty model into a costume that invokes anorexia nervosa much less the idea that this costume whips up more female body issues than every season of Baywatch combined. But they are an equal opportunity offender. The get up is available in a plus size just in case big-boned chicks want to get in on the screw-with-the-mentally-afflicted Halloween action.

I guess they would have hung me (with a hemp rope) the year I wore dark glasses, had a vacuum cleaner on a dog leash and a sign around my neck that said, "Please help. I am blind and my dog has asthma. "

Saturday, October 06, 2007

I Need This Because:

1. I can impress women with my big six inches;
2. You never know when you might need to measure something;
3. Guys who carry a tape measure, ON THEIR WRIST are really, really sexy.

Love It!