Tuesday, July 31, 2007

What Teachers Make

Taylor Mali, slam poet, gives his mind on what teachers make. A great answer I need to memorize.

Monday, July 30, 2007

The Meriweather/Gates of the Mountains fire blows up

(photo credit Perry Jones)

Want It!

Antique looking books seem perfectly harmless until someone walks by, then the middle book slides out toward the victim as if it will fall from the shelf. Books also emit spooky sounds for a totally haunted effect.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

The perfect husband isn't always who he seems.

(video link)

Helena has a new golf course

The view from the 8th green:

It's actually a 1/5 scale par-three course - 64-101 yards:

The ninth hole troll:

Overheard at the rodeo

"He's so tall he could hunt geese with a rake."

Friday, July 27, 2007

Word of the Day

celebutard (suh.LEB.yoo.tard) n. A celebrity who is or is perceived to be unintelligent. [Blend of celebutante and retard.] This fine coinage combines celebutante and retard to form a most useful insult in this age of people who are famous only for being famous.

Howl (for Lindsay Lohan)

Before I was a web geek I was a literature geek.

How do you keep meerkats from fighting?

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Welcome to fire season

What the Helena valley should look like:

What it actually looks like:

I've been getting some congratulary calls from people who read the Missoula newspaper

Missoulian Public Record for Monday, July 16, 2007


Justine Olivia Wiedenmeyer and Douglas Duane Doty, July 7

Friday, July 20, 2007

A Beatles Joke

Ringo became a gentleman farmer, but was having no success. His neighbor's animals were all strong and healthy, so he went and asked him the secret to his success.

"well, for chickens, you wanna plant some corn." The farmer said.

"Right, a field of corn for chickens." Ringo replied.

"And for horses, you wanna plant some corn." The farmer said.

"Right, a field of corn for horses." Ringo replied.

"And for cows, you wanna..."

"I know, I know," Rigno butts in, "I want a field of corn."

"No," replied the farmer, "everyone knows its strawberry fields for heifers."

Why I Hate Funky Winkerbean

Thursday, July 19, 2007

No End In Sight

The first film of its kind to chronicle the reasons behind Iraq’s descent into guerilla war, warlord rule, criminality and anarchy, NO END IN SIGHT is a jaw-dropping, insider’s tale of wholesale incompetence, recklessness and venality. Based on over 200 hours of footage, the film provides a candid retelling of the events following the fall of Baghdad in 2003 by high ranking officials such as former Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage, Ambassador Barbara Bodine (in charge of Baghdad during the Spring of 2003), Colonel Lawrence Wilkerson, former Chief of Staff to Colin Powell, and General Jay Garner (in charge of the occupation of Iraq through May 2003), as well as Iraqi civilians, American soldiers and prominent analysts. NO END IN SIGHT examines the manner in which the principal errors of U.S. policy - the use of insufficient troop levels, allowing the looting of Baghdad, the purging of professionals from the Iraqi government and the disbanding of the Iraqi military - largely created the insurgency and chaos that engulf Iraq today.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

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We saw a bear (not in our camp.)

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Airport Electrical Outlets wiki

Want It! - Cooking Mama Video Game

The Wii Remote is your ultimate cooking utensil, putting you in total control of the cooking action as you chop, grate, slice, stir, roll and much more! Hold and point it in many different ways depending on the task (i.e. upright to mash potatoes, lengthwise to fry in a pan, etc.) to get the real sensation of cooking in a kitchen!
All-new Cooking Challenge Mode lets you and a friend go head-to-head in the ultimate multiplayer cook off to determine who can cook the fastest with the fewest mistakes.

Nick the Dragon Slayer - a story with a moral

Once upon a time, and far-far away, lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them.

One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he
could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer
readily agreed to the scheme and would pay when it was proven.

The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she
dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.

Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician, informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the
itch. The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins.

With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, with a laugh just told him to get lost. The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear.

The King immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer...

The moral of the story - - - - - - - - - - - - - Pay your freakin bills

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Come on a ride with me.

. . . and this is your dog on steroids

A monument to the sheepherder

and his evil,

evil dog.

Things you don't want to find in your yard.

How to discover that your lug wrench has gone missing.

This flat tire is brought to you by the makers of Bubblegum. Only Bubblegum can stick to your tire in a gravel parking lot and hold a rock against your tread in a way that will cause a puncture.

**This offer not valid in temperatures below 90 degrees or within 3 miles of any human dwelling.

Want It!

Riding a wooden motorcycle down a hill would be cool.

The skirt? Not so much.

I was this kid (and still am.)

Friday, July 06, 2007

Clark Fork River - Kelly Creek to Kona Ranch

Beer, buddies and floating on a 105 degree Friday afternoon. It doesn't get much better.

(Except if we had caught a fish.)

Would it surprise you that this guy also had a lot of tattoos?

Monday, July 02, 2007

Phrase of the Day

"the black ice of adolescence"

Bong Hits for Jesus - The Game

Has the recent "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" case confused you about the current state of free speech rights in public high schools?

To help you sort out which speech is protected and which is not in this post-Bong Hits 4 Jesus world, we've teamed up with our friends at RedAphid.com to create "Bong Hits 4 Jesus - The Game!"

Want It!

The wick is not real but contains an LED instead. It gets lighted whenever you try to remove money from it. Should you persist in getting your fair share of nickels and times from inside, it will start vibrating and making noises until it erupts, scattering all your hard earned cash throughout the room.

This sounds like fun

If you've got some Alka-Seltzer tablets, a drill, some string, and lots of water, you've got all you need for a fun, summer-time (outdoor) game.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

In downtown Helena

I wish that some of the people who say the deer are allright to have in Helena would bump into this fellow late at night while taking the garbage out or going for a walk.

Click the link for the proposed solution. Then note the date and the people in the comments section who are very, very stupid.

Oh good, now we know what the problem is.

The three best things about going to a softball game for 10 year-old girls.

1. Their pre-batting routine is done with the same seriousness and ritual as a major league batter. Which is both cute and impressive on someone who isn't even five feet tall.

2. The girls make up their own cheers, which are postive about the player up to bat rather than dissing the other team or players. My favorite? (shout each letter in the first three lines)

"G O O D I
Good eye!"

Best shout-out by a parent: "It's just a game . . . so win!"

3. Best softball team name ever. **

** This joke available only to Montana natives age 40 and older.

"Everyone in the raft must wear a life jacket" I said.

Another fun thing I did the weekend - ride a steam locomotive under the full moon

Virgina City Brewery Follies

Here's a short clip of one of the skits that had people falling on the floor laughing.