Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Here's Something You Don't Want To Know

It’s an 80-year-old illustration showing the largest animals and plants in the world. The ugly little secret is item no. 10, that totally unnoticeable line in the middle of the picture just below the dinosaur and the snake.

All you have to do is click on the page and the image will turn interactive and you can find out what that is. (Psst! There’s a spoiler a couple of paragraphs down.)

Monday, August 30, 2010

Hi-tech supermarket

A new Kroger supermarket opened in Michigan .

It has an automatic water mister to keep produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the distant sound of thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows moo and you experience the scent of fresh cut hay.

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks.

In the liquor department, the fresh, clean, crisp smell of tapped Miller Lite.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread & cookies.

I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Personal Finance on a Napkin


Churchgoers, strippers protest one another in Coshocton County

WARSAW, Ohio -- Strip-club owner Tommy George rolled up to the church in his grabber-orange Dodge Challenger, drinking a Mountain Dew at 9 in the morning and smoking a cigarette he had just rolled himself.

Pastor Bill Dunfee stepped out of a tan Nissan Murano, clutching a Bible in one hand and his sermon in the other, a touch of spray holding his perfectly coiffed 'do in place.

Inside the New Beginnings Ministries church, Dunfee's worshippers wore polyester and pearls.

Outside, George's strippers wore bikinis and belly rings.

Barack Obama image targeted in Roseto Big Time shooting game

A game called "Alien Attack" at the Our Lady of Mount Carmel Big Timecelebration in Roseto encouraged players to shoot darts at the head and heart of an image of a suited black man holding a health care bill and wearing a presidential seal.

Irvin L. Good Jr., president of Hellertown-based Goodtime Amusements, said the game wasn’t meant to depict President Barack Obama, but he acknowledged he’s received two complaints since its April debut, including one complaint at the Big Time.
“Yes, a woman talked to me about it,” Good said today.“She said she was offended by it. I said if you are, you might want to be. But you’re interpreting it as being Obama. We’re not interpreting it as Obama. The name of the game is ‘Alien Leader.’ If you’re offended, that’s fine, we duly note that.”
When it was suggested the health bill and presidential seal might lead players to believe the game did depict Obama, Good said, “You may be right there.”

I guess I'm going to have to cancel my order from Africa.

Public Comment Sought On The Classification Of Three Species As Controlled

Friday, July 30, 2010
Wild Things

Montana Fish, Wildlife & Parks is seeking public comment on the classification of three exotic species.

The Barbary falcon and coho salmon are proposed as controlled and the hyena is proposed as a prohibited species.

Turtle Burgers

Handmade ground beef patties, topped with sharp cheddar cheese, wrapped in a bacon weave, then the next step, add

hotdogs as the heads, legs with slits for toes and tail.

Next step. Place on an oven rack, covered loosely with foil and baked for 20-30 minutes at 400 degrees.

Crap At My Parent's House

A Joke

There was a family gathering, with all generations around the table. Mischievous teenagers put a Viagra tablet into Grandpa's drink, and after a while, Grandpa excused himself because he had to go to the toilet.

When he returned, however, his trousers are wet all over.

'What happened, Grandpa?' he is asked by his concerned children.

'Well,' he answered, 'I don't really know. I had to go to the toilet. So I took it out and started to pee, but then I saw that it wasn't mine, so I put it back!'

Trout Saviors

Artificial insemination. Poisoned lakes. Decapitated cutthroats. It's all part of a paradoxical plan to save the state fish.

In Sweden, Men Can Have It All

SPOLAND, SWEDEN — Mikael Karlsson owns a snowmobile, two hunting dogs and five guns. In his spare time, this soldier-turned-game warden shoots moose and trades potty-training tips with other fathers. Cradling 2-month-old Siri in his arms, he can’t imagine not taking baby leave. “Everyone does.”

From trendy central Stockholm to this village in the rugged forest south of the Arctic Circle, 85 percent of Swedish fathers take parental leave. Those who don’t face questions from family, friends and colleagues. As other countries still tinker with maternity leave and women’s rights, Sweden may be a glimpse of the future.

In this land of Viking lore, men are at the heart of the gender-equality debate. The ponytailed center-right finance minister calls himself a feminist, ads for cleaning products rarely feature women as homemakers, and preschools vet books for gender stereotypes in animal characters. For nearly four decades, governments of all political hues have legislated to give women equal rights at work — and men equal rights at home.

Test Your Focus