Wonders Of A Well-weathered Skeleton
When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
17 Shades of Stupid: Cosmo's Worst BDSM Tips
4. "Press a fork (firmly, but don’t break the skin or anything) into different parts of his body — his butt cheeks, his pecs, his thighs."
This was clearly written at lunchtime, after a morning spent rummaging around the office for kinkspiration. Rejected options: "Hold a blueberry muffin in your fist and punch him in the mouth." "Pretend to be a naughty piece of printer paper and tell him to 'staple' you." "Act like a PDF and order him to 'fax me hard.' Make all relevant noises."
Incidentally, if the women who read
Cosmo
need to be cautioned against
stabbing someone with a fork hard enough to break the skin
, then their partners are going to need more than a safe word.
12. "Let him write 'property of [his name]' on your underwear before you leave for work. It’s an all-day-long reminder that he is your 'master,' which is awesomely kinky." Or an underwear-ruining reminder of summer camp.
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