As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink."
"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."
"Ahhh, dat's nuthin'," said the Irishman, "back home in me favorite pub, the moment ye set foot in th’ place, they'll buy ye a drink, then another, all the drinks ye like, actually. Then, when ye've had enough drinks, they'll take ye upstairs and see dat ye gets laid, all on th’ house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims. The Irishman swore every word was true. "Did this actually happen to you?" –they asked.
"Well Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister quite a few times ..."
