Rules for elk camp

1. Never tie your horse to the cooktent. These normally docile steeds have only one thought on their mind - going back to the barn. They interpret the sudden appearance of the camp cook, rushing out through the tent flap with a frying pan full of flaming bacon, as a signal to immediately break camp and gallop to the trailhead with the cooktent and it's occupants in tow.

2. Never dump the dregs of your coffee mug on the dirt floor of the cook tent or spit tobacco juice or food on the floor. Not only is this a disgusting habit, it is a hard one to break once you return home.

3. Do not toss the remains of your cup, used dish water, or empty bottles out through the tent flap. Someone may have forgotten rule one. Or someone may be entering the tent.

4. Never use your partner's coffee cup as a spittoon or chamber pot without asking him first.

5. Do not use the last of the latrine tissue and not tell anyone.

6. It is in bad taste to ask to use someone else's long underwear until yours dries.

7. Do not unduly disturb your buddies sleep by hoarsely whispering, "Did you guys hear that?" or by asking if anyone else has ants in their sleeping bag.

8. Do not take the cot furthest from the stove, then insist on stoking the fire all night because you're cold.

9. Do not ignite dying embers in the sleeping tent stove by tossing in a cupful of chainsaw gas. Especially if you are using your partner's cup.

10. Never keep a loaded gun in camp. Someone could be injured. That someone would likely be the person that violated the rules.

written by Bill Sansom, St. Regis, Montana