When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Damn You Autocorrect!
This came though our office email, referring to a retirement party last week:
“Sorry for the incontinence the Tea Party pictures are now up and on Share”
I would rather apologize for an inconvenience than apologize for being incontinent.
Perhaps one of the worst opening lines ever written.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
A Poem
A
WOMAN'S POEM:
Before
I lay me down to sleep,
I
pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One
who's handsome, smart and strong.
One
who loves to listen long,
One
who thinks before he speaks,
One
who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I
pray he's gainfully employed,
When
I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls
out my chair and opens my door.
Massages
my back and begs to do more.
Oh!
Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows
what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I
pray that this man will love me to no end,
And
always be my very best friend.
A
MAN'S POEM:
I
pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniaccontortionist
with
huge
boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and
loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't
rhyme and I don't give a shit.
The
End
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Trump compares same-sex marriage to long putters
Two of the most surprising news makers of the past month have been apparent presidential candidate Donald Trump and the formerly maligned and newly popular long putter. According to The New York Times, when asked about his opinions on same-sex marriage on Monday, the Trumpster (an avid golfer) managed to make those two worlds collide with a decidedly mixed metaphor:
“It’s like in golf,” he said. “A lot of people—I don’t want this to sound trivial—but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive,” said Mr. Trump, a Republican. “It’s weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can’t sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.”
A note to Mr. Trump: If you have to use the phrase "I don't want this to sound trivial," you're probably about to say something that sounds trivial.
















