A Joke

 SCOTTISH WEDDING
At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled...
"Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."  

The bartender was almost crushed to death.


New Book
A man goes into Borders and asks the young lady assistant,
"Do you have the new book out for men with short penises?"
She replies, "I'm not sure if it's in yet."
"That's the one; I'll take a copy…"
 

 Poor Lance Armstrong

I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong,especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, while on drugs. 

When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my frig’n bike.

 Drive ByA guy broke into my apartment lastweek.  He didn’t take my TV, just the remote.
Now he drives by and changes the channels.
Sick Bastard!!

 Pregnant Prostitute
Doctor asks pregnant prostitute, "do you know who the father is?"  

"For f.... sakes , if you ate a tin of beans would you know which one made you fart?"

10. Sex Research  (could be handy)
If sex with 3 people is called a threesome and sex with 2 people is a twosome, now I understand why they call you handsome!