Dear __________ Letters

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our

country and we got a little busy, OK?

Sincerely,
The Mayans
___________________________________

Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving 'til 5.

Sincerely,
Unicorns
___________________________________

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can

never get an erection.

Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely,
Logic
___________________________________

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch, eh?

Sincerely,
The Titanic
___________________________________

Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely,
Canada
___________________________________

Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know -

let's Yahoo! it.."

Just saying...

Sincerely,
Google
___________________________________

Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black – What happened?!

Sincerely,
1985
___________________________________

Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can't touch this.

Sincerely,
That Little Triangle
___________________________________

Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding!

They're all dead.

Sincerely,
BP
___________________________________

Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.

Sincerely,
Unimpressed
___________________________________

Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.

Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder
___________________________________

Dear Nickleback,
That's enough.

Sincerely,
The World
___________________________________

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color...

Sincerely,
Black people
___________________________________

Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain... no one wants to run with me either.

Sincerely,
Sarah Palin
___________________________________

Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.

Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere
___________________________________

Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.

Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies
___________________________________

Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.

Sincerely,
Alcohol
___________________________________

Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?

Sincerely,
Native Americans
___________________________________

Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words, you piece of shut.

Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
___________________________________

Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die.

CRAP! Where did you go?Sincerely,
Terrified
___________________________________

Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up...

Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore
___________________________________

Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Sincerely,
Elephant
___________________________________

Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.

Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper