Two cowboys are in the kitchen, which one is the real cowboy?
The one working on the range.
The one working on the range.
Q: How do you know if someone's vegan?
A: Oh, they'll tell you...
A: Oh, they'll tell you...
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre.
Dr. Dre.
What do you call a raft guide without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
Homeless.
A man walks into a bar, takes out a can of black spray paint, and starts drawing all over the vestibule.
Enraged, the bartender yells at the man, "Get outta here! And never darken my doorway again!"
Enraged, the bartender yells at the man, "Get outta here! And never darken my doorway again!"
How many teenagers does it take to change a light bulb?
Mom!
A penguin's car is overheating so he drops it off at a mechanic and goes out to run a few errands.
He comes back to the shop. The mechanic says 'Hey, it looks like you blew a seal'
The penguin says 'No no no, it was a sea lion. You can tell from the ears.'
He comes back to the shop. The mechanic says 'Hey, it looks like you blew a seal'
The penguin says 'No no no, it was a sea lion. You can tell from the ears.'
English Teacher: Knock knock.
Student: Who's there?
English Teacher: To.
Student: To who?
English Teacher (shaking head): To whom.
Student: Who's there?
English Teacher: To.
Student: To who?
English Teacher (shaking head): To whom.
My favorite joke is about Jonestown but I had to quit telling it because the punchline was too long.
I was going to tell you a great joke about construction, but I'm still working on it.
Q: What's the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist?
A: An etymologist would know the difference
A: An etymologist would know the difference
A young man invited a young woman out on a date. They had dinner at a nice restaurant. Afterward the young man asked his date if she would join him in a cigarette. "Oh no," she said. "What would I tell my Sunday school class?"
So the man was driving her home and they passed near a drinking establishment. The man asked her if she would join him for a drink. "Oh no," she said again. "What would I tell my Sunday school class?"
A bit later they passed near a motel, and the young man decided to go for broke. He asked her if she would like to stop there for a bit of fun. "That sounds great," she said. "Let's do it."
"But what will you tell your Sunday school class?"
"The same thing I always tell them: You don't have to smoke or drink to have a good time."
So the man was driving her home and they passed near a drinking establishment. The man asked her if she would join him for a drink. "Oh no," she said again. "What would I tell my Sunday school class?"
A bit later they passed near a motel, and the young man decided to go for broke. He asked her if she would like to stop there for a bit of fun. "That sounds great," she said. "Let's do it."
"But what will you tell your Sunday school class?"
"The same thing I always tell them: You don't have to smoke or drink to have a good time."
“Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.”
A Man walks into a dentist's office. The dentist asks, "What seems to be the problem?"
"Well," said the man, "I'm a moth."
"A Moth? You mean the little insect with wings?"
"Right, a moth."
"Oh," said the dentist, "You don't need me, you need a psychiatrist. Why did you come to my office?"
"Your light was on."
"Well," said the man, "I'm a moth."
"A Moth? You mean the little insect with wings?"
"Right, a moth."
"Oh," said the dentist, "You don't need me, you need a psychiatrist. Why did you come to my office?"
"Your light was on."
