60 above
Floridians wear coats, gloves and woolly hats.
Montana people sunbathe.
50 above
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Montana people plant gardens.
40 above
Italian cars won't start.
Montana people drive with the windows down.
32 above
Distilled water freezes.
Montanans store their beer outdoors.
20 above
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Montana people have the last cook-out before it gets cold.
15 above
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
Montana people throw on a sweatshirt.
0 degrees
Californians fly away to Mexico.
Montanans lick the flagpole.
20 below
People in Miami cease to exist.
Montana people get out their winter coats.
40 below
Hollywood disintegrates.
Montana Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
60 below
Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.
Montana Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
80 below
Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
Montana people rent some videos.
100 below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Montanans get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
297 below
Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Montana cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 below
ALL atomic motion stops.
Montana people start saying...."Cold 'nuff for ya?"
500 below
Hell freezes over.
The Montana State Bobcats take the championship
