How To Get Rid Of A One-night Stand

I Think I Found My Long-lost Son

WIsh I'd Thought of This

Headline of the Week

Panties sought for Myanmar protest

MONTREAL, May 28 (UPI) -- Two Canadian human rights group in Quebec are calling for women to mail panties to Myanmar's embassy to protest the ruling military junta.

The Quebec Women's Federation and the activist group Rights and Democracy claim the secretive military leaders in the country formerly known as Burma are superstitious and believe contact with women's underwear will usurp their power

Fun with the terrorists

Wheel of Fail

The Inside of a TSA X-ray Machine

"This is what happens when ADHD gets the best of you when you’re on line at LAX and there’s no First Class lane, no CLEAR lane, and only two lanes of six open. Oh, and when it’s 4:30am in the morning, and I haven’t had enough coffee. And by “enough,” I mean “any.”

It occurs to you that it might be fun to see what the inside of the TSA X-Ray machine looks like. Barring me actually going in said machine, I did the next best thing, and sent my brand new Flip TV digital video camera through, turned on."

A Joke

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says,

"Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. It never smells and is always silent. As a matter of fact I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because it doesn't smell and is silent."

The doctor says,

"I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week".

The next week the lady returns.

"Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly".

"Good," the doctor said. "Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."

Creeeepy

The ocean has always been a trove of mysteries, most of which remain unsolved.

The latest head-scratcher that's leaving everyone from police to oceanographers baffled are a series of sneaker-clad right feet that have washed up on shorelines along islands in British Columbia.

There have been four in less than a year. All feet were wearing socks and shoes. Two of them were size 12.

Grab It!

Choose a week starting in 1981 and it will link you to the top 10 videos for that week.

Which is sometimes depressing:

Kobe Bryant jumps over a pool full of snakes to slam dunk

Want It!

"The Weatherproof Submersible Wireless Speaker from Grace Audio is...exactly that. The speaker doesn't just stand up to a few splashes of water, you can actually toss it in the pool in case your backyard speakers aren't loud enough or close enough for you."

This would be fun for floating the Missouri. Maybe let it float up behind some unsuspecting fly fisherman than crank it up with the theme music from "Jaws."

When flying Frontier Airlines . . .

Pike are evil

Thank YOU for flying Cathay Airlines

Customs officials have lost 124 grams of hashish they planted in an unknowing traveler’s luggage to train drug sniffing dogs, the head of Narita Customs said Monday.

“We want to improve the sniffer dogs’ ability, so we have practiced this way several times in the past,” the official said on condition of anonymity.

Customs said the hash was stored in a metal container stuffed into the pocket of a soft, black suitcase belonging to one of 283 passengers traveling on Cathay Pacific Flight 520 from Hong Kong to Narita, which arrived at 3:31 p.m. on Sunday. The owner of the suitcase is unknown and passengers were not informed that their luggage would be used to train the drug-seeking dogs.

Two good bumper stickers

"We are creating enemies faster than we can kill them."

"Speak up or be ruled by the stupid."

Titanic search was cover for secret Cold War subs mission

Compelling video and song

Go to full screen for the best effect.

Wolf Control

Last month in Bozeman, the Sierra Club and the US Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Montana ranchers for controlling the wolf population.

What the Sierra Club proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the males castrated and let loose again, and the population would be controlled.

All of the ranchers mulled over this 'amazing' idea for a couple of minutes.

Finally, an old boy in the back stood up, tipped his hat back, and said, "Son, I don't think you understand the problem. Those wolves ain't screwin' our sheep - they're eatin' 'em."

A Pig's Tale

Rolling Stone tracks the story of perhaps the most famous prop in the history of rock & roll: Pink Floyd's inflatable pig. From the hog's humble beginnings on the cover of Floyd's 1977 album Animals to its recent unpiloted escape from Coachella, the creature has become a pop-culture icon (it even merited a reference on an episode of The Simpsons).

Weezer does catchy pop and fun videos

Miller's Crossing is going non-smoking!

YES!

Miller's Crossing has finally heard the voice of the people and is going non-smoking. No longer do we have to miss live music because we don't want to smell like an ashtray when we get home or get driven out after an hour of dancing because our eyes are watering from the smoke.

They're worried that they will lose business, so the best thing to do is to come down one of the three nights a week this summer that they have music and show them that we appreciate being able to dance and hang out without smoke.

Here's the summer music schedule: http://millerscrossing.biz/

And here is the band you do not want to miss on July 28 after Alive at Five. http://www.redelvises.com

"Bobblefoot Doll"

MAY 22--Capitalizing on Senator Larry Craig's restroom bust, a Minnesota minor league baseball team this Sunday is giving away a promotional item celebrating the Republican politician's arrest last year at the Minneapolis-St.Paul airport. Dubbed a "bobblefoot" (as opposed to a bobblehead doll), the polyresin giveaway depicts an occupied bathroom stall (the inhabitant's pants and shoes can be seen below the stall's panels). When the St. Paul Saints's "bobblefoot" is shaken, one of the spring-loaded feet taps. The keepsake, which will be handed out to the first 2500 fans attending the Saints's May 25 game against the Fort Worth Cats, can be seen below and on the following pages. According to an undercover cop's account, while in the airport bathroom, Craig "tapped his toes several times and moved his foot closer to my foot." The officer, Sgt. Dave Karsnia, was seated in an adjoining stall and believed Craig's footsie was a signal that the politician was seeking sex. Craig has denied this, blaming his wide stance for Karsnia's unfortunate misinterpretation.

I want to to see this movie

Isaac Knott (Nick Stahl) is a Public Radio reporter in New York City. When he was eight, his mother and father died in an automobile accident that left him in a wheelchair. On air, Isaac recounts how he recently received an anonymous tip from someone identified only as “Ancient Chinese Girl.” She tells him a perfectly able-bodied man walked into an emergency ward downtown, and attempted to bribe a doctor into amputating his leg. As Isaac investigates the eerie tip, he encounters Fiona (Vera Farmiga) who, through her own quandary, leads Isaac to a netherworld of people afflicted with a perverse desire to be disabled. Like a contemporary noir detective film, QUID PRO QUO follows Issac as he embarks on a dream-like journey to pull back the layers of what makes people feel whole.

I noir detective films.

Trailer may be slightly NSFW due to a pretty lady in her underwear.

Helena People - Check out "Broadband Shortwave"

Fun Plumber

An afternoon on the Little Blackfoot

Why we didn't see any animals.

A six-inch Brown

The end of the trail for today . . .

Because I didn't feel like post-holing through this in shorts.

GOT to have it!

The good: Streams Netflix Watch Now titles to your TV; affordable $100 price tag; unlimited viewing with no additional charge beyond standard ($8.95 or higher) monthly Netflix fee; PC-free movie watching; simple setup; includes built-in wired and 802.11g Wi-Fi networking; works with all TVs; upgradeable firmware allows for new features, interface improvements, and bug fixes.

Odd One Out

The Intensity of Gopher Hunting

A Sunday Float on the Missouri

Targeted Advertising Fail

Best Book Title I've Seen In Awhile

"I Have Fun Everywhere I Go: Savage Tales of Pot, Porn, Punk Rock, Pro Wrestling, Talking Apes, Evil Bosses, Dirty Blues, American Heroes, and the Most Notorious Magazines in the World"

I Have Fun Everywhere I Go is a rollicking, high-octane, always irreverent journey through the seamy side of the publishing industry. Mike Edison’s résumé spans twenty years and a slew of notorious titles, including Screw, High Times, Penthouse, and Hustler. An Ivy League dropout who’s never looked back, Edison embarked on a career that’s landed him in the producer’s chair for one of the worst B movies of all time; on tour with the likes of the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion, GG Allin, and the Ramones; undercover at a religious cult; on a bender with Evel Knievel; feuding with Hulk Hogan; smoking dope with Ozzy Osborne; and authoring some twenty novels you wouldn’t want your mother to catch you reading—let alone writing. As the publisher of High Times, he battled almost daily with a rainbow brigade of unrepentant hippies plagued with short-term memory loss, and owners who treated their employees more like the tenants of a halfway house for potheads than a team of professional editors and writers, all while leading the magazine to record heights in sales and advertising.

What to do on a hot day.

On top of Mt. Ascension

"Give me a place to stand, said Archimedes, and I shall conquer the world."

Frazz

Appearing July 10 at Miller's Crossing in Helena

Morning Walk

This makes sense - so it won't happen.

Senators Threaten Saudi Arms Deal Over Oil Prices

WASHINGTON - A group of Democratic senators on May 13 threatened to block a multimillion dollar U.S. arms deal with Saudi Arabia unless the kingdom ups oil production and helps cut soaring gasoline prices.

The Senators introduced a resolution of disapproval on the arms sale as President Bush prepared to head for Saudi Arabia, partly on a mission to contain runaway oil prices.

"We are saying to the Saudis that, if you don't help us, why should we be helping you?" said Sen. Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y. "We are saying that we need real relief, and we need it quickly. You need our arms, but we need you to cooperate and not strangle American consumers."

The resolution, expected to be fast-tracked to the Senate floor, would prohibit the mammoth arms sale unless Saudi Arabia agrees to increase oil production by one million barrels per day.

Schumer said such an increase could bring down the price of a gallon of gasoline at the pump by 50 to 75 cents.

Cartoon Characters Showing Their Age

Days Go By

Actually, it's a cool idea.

The TASER Shield Conversion Kit features a peel and stick perforated TASER REPEL Laminate Film, power supply and necessary conversion equipment. This laminate becomes electrified providing a powerful deterrent to protect officers and keep suspects or rioters at bay. The shield can be compatible with the TASER Controlled Digital Power Magazine (CDPM) system which was announced earlier this month.

And let us not forget that Judy Martz is on their board of directors.

The Martial Rating Scale for Wives - 1938

"The test was designed to give couples feedback on their marriages. Either husbands or wives could take the test, which rated wives in a variety of areas. For instance, if your wife "uses slang or profanity," she would get a score of five demerits. On the other hand, if she "reacts with pleasure and delight to marital congress," she would receive 10 merits. The test taker would add up the total number of merits and demerits to receive a raw score, which would categorize the wife on a scale from "very poor" to "very superior."

I particularly like (sarcasm) the idea of demerits and merits. Wives get demerits for:

Failing to sew buttons or socks
Wearing red nail polish.
Puts her cold feet on husband at night to warm them. (Heck, with proper warning I always thought it was a nice thing to warm her feet up. Do unto others . . . )

In the Merits category, I like the irony of 11 and 12:
Wife takes kids to church on Sunday.
Wife lets husband sleep late on Sunday.

There was no husband scale, because husbands are perfect.

Hi-tech tombstones in Japan let mourners link to images, videos of deceased

A gravestone manufacturer here is helping bereaved families remember their loved ones with a touch of technology -- mobile phone QR codes on tombstones that link to photographs and video clips of the deceased

Manbabies - the Photoshop blog

I'm not surprised

THIS IS INDIA. IT'S WHERE YOU CALL WHEN YOU HAVE A TECHNICAL
PROBLEM WITH YOUR COMPUTER.

How to make a skull bong

On Thursday, the Houston Chronicle posted a story on its Web site about three teenagers who, according to Houston police, dug up the grave of an 11-year-old boy buried in 1921, removed the corpse's head, and used it as a bong to smoke marijuana. Police have not found the head and say heavy rain has prevented them checking the open grave for a casket. If it's true that the kids stole a skull, could they really have used it as a bong?

Show your support for your candidate

There are fewer than eight months until the election, the election that will decide the next President of the United States. Montanan's will vote in our primary in just three weeks.

The person elected will be the president of all Americans, not just the Democrats or the Republicans. To show our solidarity as Americans, let's show each other our support for the candidate of our choice.

If you support the policies and character of John McCain, please drive with your headlights on during the day.

If you support Obama or Hillary, please drive with your headlights off at night.

Gun Control

A Good Read

Want It!

Monoface

Follow the link and when a face appears click on the head, eyes, mouth and/or nose.

I paid $30 for a grooming 72 hours ago.

After a while she slid so far under the car that she couldn't get out until I pulled her half-way out.