I'm glad this isn't my dog.

Firstly, the Barbie doll issue. I know the kid is forgetful and sometimes leaves her bedroom door unlocked. It truly sucks to be a hardass, but I'd appreciate if you didn't swallow the body parts. If you could just spit 'em out it would avoid the whole morning-after trauma thing. By the next day chances are I've forgotten it ever happened and I'm simply not equipped to encounter pink hands and feet sticking out of your shit when I stoop to do my civic duty.