A Festival for Lost Testicles

I have never gone to this because I no longer have the desire to be around that many very drunk people. The link is SFW on the first page, but not thereafter.

If you stop at the bar you can ask to see the albums for each year. Not only are they NSFW, they are both scary and, if you ask for the "Tony and Tina" album, downright intimidating.

War IS good for penguins and other living species

There's a mating ritual going on in the minefield.

Fortunately the would-be lovers are penguins, too light to detonate the deadly mines laid more than two decades ago during a war on the far-flung Falkland Islands.

Thousands of penguins and other feathered and amphibious friends choose to nest and rest in no-go zones. The British estimate that some 25,000 land mines, mostly sown by Argentine forces in the 1982 war with Britain, remain.

On a recent day, the squawking penguins were busily finding partners, preparing nests and waddling about the mating grounds.

Wildlife numbers in the mined areas appear to be on the rise and conservationists cannot hide their enthusiasm about this unorthodox form of protecting lands previously trampled by people or overgrazed by sheep.

This pirate dog seriously wanted to kick Nica's ass

Montana Quarters Recalled

The U. S. Treasury announced today that it is recalling all of the Montana quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state.

"We are recalling all the new Montana quarters that were recently issued," Treasury Undersecretary Jack Shackleford said Monday.

"This action is being taken after numerous reports that the new quarters will not work in parking meters, vending machines, pay phones or other coin-operated devices."

Shackleford said the problem lies in the unique design of the Montana quarter, which was created by a recent graduate of Montana State University in Bozeman.

Apparently, the duct tape holding the two dimes and the nickel together keeps jamming the coin-operated devices

This sign from Glasgow makes my head hurt

OK. So . . .

1. I have to get permission to trespass.
2. But in order to get permission, I have to trespass on the property to ask if I can have permission to tresspass.
3. Which is trespassing.
4. But once I have permission, I can trespass.
5. But if I have permission, I'm not trespassing.

I figure this person makes his or her living writing federal rules.

Pets In Uniform

There are weird things that are understandable, there are weird things that are beyond understanding.

"Imagine: your dog, cat, or other pet in full military regalia."

Find A Human

Here's a listing of phone codes for numerous companies that will allow you to talk to a human without spending 20 minutes in voice jail.

Another fund raiser for New Orleans

I particularly like these two qoutes:

"This is not an instant process. Basically, you’ll have an account as soon as we can get to it."

But still, send us your money.

"Also, if any charities would like to work directly with us to make this process easier on everyone’s part, please email me at the above address."

Because nothing says "I want to help." like asking women to send you pictures of their breasts and then charging people to look at those pictures.

How the Red Cross will spend your dollar (bills)

Strip shows are back in the city's famous French Quarter. Erotic dancers and strippers are entertaining crowds of police, firefighters and military personnel instead of the usual audiences of drunken conventioneers and tourists in Bourbon Street's Deja Vu club, which reopened this week.

What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits the windshield?

After crossing the Missouri south of Culbertson bugs began hitting the windshield. Not all at once, but one every minute or so. Each bug made the same "pop" noise and left an identical mark. For 25 miles it was like driving through a slow snowstorm. After a while I learned to watch for them like they were snowflakes, leaning forward in my seat, cheering those who would rise up at the last millisecond and avoid the windshield, wincing as the slow or unlucky came hurtling at the windshield, oblivious to their fate until the last terrible, final instant when what had been the air supporting them became the hardest thing they had ever known and they became one more identical mark, anonymous in their death.

Man it's boring driving in northeast Montana.

Greetings From Glasgow

I'm on tour this week, Helena to Havre to Glasgow to Sidney to Miles City to Billings to Helena.

So You Wanna Be A "Hooters" Girl?

A peek at the beloved boobs-and-beer emporium's employee handbook.

Tongue Eating Fish

Anyone care to explain this by "Intelligent Design"?

A gross creature which gobbles up a fish's tongue and then replaces it with its own body has been found in Britain for the first time.

Absolutely Brilliant Idea

Every time protesters gather outside of our Locust Street health center, our patients face verbal attacks from them. They see graphic signs meant to confuse and intimidate. They are sometimes blocked from entering the building and occasionally they are videotaped. They are offered anti-choice propaganda and free rides to the closest "crisis pregnancy center."

You can stand with others in the community against these acts of intimidation and harassment

Here's how it works: You decide on the amount you would like to pledge for each protester (minimum 10 cents). When protesters show up on our sidewalks, Planned Parenthood Southeastern Pennsylvania will count and record their number each day from October 1 through November 30, 2005. We will place a sign outside the health center that tracks pledges and makes protesters fully aware that their actions are benefiting PPSP. At the end of the two-month campaign, we will send you an update on protest activities and a pledge reminder.

Friday Night Kayaking

If Goths Ruled The World

Sarah, this one is for you.

Why Europe will never conquer the US

Supposedly, this video isn't as old as you might think.

I like the dancer with brown hair, but not enough to be a member of this band.

Yeah, about the "tan" wristbands . . .

Dead Link.

It was about the people who wear the tan wristbands for charity.

Tan rubber bands.

The World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"

The girl said "No."

And the guy lived happily ever after and went golfing a lot.

THE END

Eh, who's dead, doc?

Bugs W. Bunny
LIVINGSTON - Bugs W. Bunny, 47, of Livingston, died Wednesday, Sept. 7, 2005, at his home. Funeral services will be at 11 a.m. Monday, Sept. 12, at the Livingston Church of God. Graveside committal and burial will follow at 2 p.m. Monday, in Mountainview Cemetery, Big Timber. Franzen-Davis Funeral Home of Livingston is in charge.

Published in the Billings Gazette on 9/9/2005.

First Snow - Saturday morning on McDonald Pass

Stupid Quotes About Hurricane Katrina

5) "Considering the dire circumstances that we have in New Orleans, virtually a city that has been destroyed, things are going relatively well." —FEMA Director Michael Brown, Sept. 1, 2005

12) "Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?" –House Majority Leader Tom Delay (R-TX), to three young hurricane evacuees from New Orleans at the Astrodome in Houston (Source)

13) "We finally cleaned up public housing in New Orleans. We couldn't do it, but God did." –Rep. Richard Baker (R-LA) to lobbyists, as quoted in the Wall Street Journal (Source)

How to bother your neighbors

1. Have your dog roll in dead fish.
2. Give your dog a hose bath, using dishwashing soap and tea tree conditioner.
3. While the dog is running around wildly shaking herself, open the back gate.
4. Have neighbors across the street sit on their front step enjoying a glass of wine and the sunset.
5. Have dog run up their 14 steps at full speed, stop on porch and shake herself off.
6. Shout at dog to stop, while trying not to laugh out loud.
7. Repeat shaking dog.
8. Have neighbors wife run inside and wave her arms wildly behind screen door,
9. Repeat step 6.
10. Realize that you can never apologize to neighbors with a straight face, because it was pretty funny to watch, even if if was wrong.

The Katrina Premium

Why the hurricane may hurt the economy more than 9/11

Sundown at Granite Park Chalet

Priceless

Pair of Patagonia "seconds" long underwear: $13

Lending clothing to a fellow camper: No charge

Having Kittie run around the hotel in pink longjohns: Priceless