I always hated those little blue things

The short film pulls no punches. It opens with the Smurfs dancing, hand-in-hand, around a campfire and singing the Smurf song. Bluebirds flutter past and rabbits gambol around their familiar village of mushroom- shaped houses until, without warning, bombs begin to rain from the sky.

A Bad Day Fishing Is Better Than A Good Day At Work

Well, not always.

"I was fishing when the line got snagged on something and as I pulled it, I just felt something hit me on the face and knock me to the floor," said Mr Williams.

"To be honest, I didn't know what had happened, but when I put my hands to my face they were covered in blood."

Complete with x-ray goodness.

Driving to work this morning

The Ig Nobel Awards are out!

The 2005 Ig Nobel Prize Winners

The 2005 Ig Nobel Prizes were awarded on Thursday evening, October 6, at the 15th First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, at Harvard's Sanders Theatre. You can watch archived video of the live webcast.

AGRICULTURAL HISTORY: James Watson of Massey University, New Zealand, for his scholarly study, "The Significance of Mr. Richard Buckley’s Exploding Trousers."
REFERENCE: "The Significance of Mr. Richard Buckley’s Exploding Trousers: Reflections on an Aspect of Technological Change in New Zealand Dairy-Farming between the World Wars," James Watson, Agricultural History, vol. 78, no. 3, Summer 2004, pp. 346-60.

PHYSICS: John Mainstone and the late Thomas Parnell of the University of Queensland, Australia, for patiently conducting an experiment that began in the year 1927 -- in which a glob of congealed black tar has been slowly, slowly dripping through a funnel, at a rate of approximately one drop every nine years.

MEDICINE: Gregg A. Miller of Oak Grove, Missouri, for inventing Neuticles -- artificial replacement testicles for dogs, which are available in three sizes, and three degrees of firmness.
REFERENCES: US Patent #5868140, and the book Going Going NUTS!, by Gregg A. Miller, PublishAmerica, 2004, ISBN 1413753167.

LITERATURE: The Internet entrepreneurs of Nigeria, for creating and then using e-mail to distribute a bold series of short stories, thus introducing millions of readers to a cast of rich characters -- General Sani Abacha, Mrs. Mariam Sanni Abacha, Barrister Jon A Mbeki Esq., and others -- each of whom requires just a small amount of expense money so as to obtain access to the great wealth to which they are entitled and which they would like to share with the kind person who assists them.


ECONOMICS: Gauri Nanda of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, for inventing an alarm clock that runs away and hides, repeatedly, thus ensuring that people DO get out of bed, and thus theoretically adding many productive hours to the workday.

CHEMISTRY: Edward Cussler of the University of Minnesota and Brian Gettelfinger of the University of Minnesota and the University of Wisconsin, for conducting a careful experiment to settle the longstanding scientific question: can people swim faster in syrup or in water?
REFERENCE: "Will Humans Swim Faster or Slower in Syrup?" American Institute of Chemical Engineers Journal, Brian Gettelfinger and E. L. Cussler, vol. 50, no. 11, October 2004, pp. 2646-7.

FLUID DYNAMICS: Victor Benno Meyer-Rochow of International University Bremen, Germany and the University of Oulu , Finland; and Jozsef Gal of Loránd Eötvös University, Hungary, for using basic principles of physics to calculate the pressure that builds up inside a penguin, as detailed in their report "Pressures Produced When Penguins Pooh -- Calculations on Avian Defaecation."

Dolphins sing 'Batman' theme

Well, it's an easy one to remember the lyric.

It's probably a good thing I never had kids

Looking like an old-fashioned comedy hand grenade, the Sonic Alarm will wake pretty well anything up. Simply pull the pin, yell an emphatic "fire in the hole" and lob the grenade into the sleeper's room. After ten seconds a very annoying and piercingly loud noise (there are three volume settings) will blast out from the alarm. That's not all however, what makes this especially great is that to stop the alarm the sleeper has to find you so you can put the pin back in.

If anyone is looking for my Christmas gift . . .

Handmade Knit Men`s SOCKS (WOOL DOG 100%)
High quality cheap cannot be.

A nice walk in the woods today

Even nicer because I kept Nica on a leash so she didn't get to go chase the elk we saw.

I Guess I Never Looked At It That Way

Here's a movie you may have seen, in a way that you may not have thought about it.

A Festival for Lost Testicles

I have never gone to this because I no longer have the desire to be around that many very drunk people. The link is SFW on the first page, but not thereafter.

If you stop at the bar you can ask to see the albums for each year. Not only are they NSFW, they are both scary and, if you ask for the "Tony and Tina" album, downright intimidating.

War IS good for penguins and other living species

There's a mating ritual going on in the minefield.

Fortunately the would-be lovers are penguins, too light to detonate the deadly mines laid more than two decades ago during a war on the far-flung Falkland Islands.

Thousands of penguins and other feathered and amphibious friends choose to nest and rest in no-go zones. The British estimate that some 25,000 land mines, mostly sown by Argentine forces in the 1982 war with Britain, remain.

On a recent day, the squawking penguins were busily finding partners, preparing nests and waddling about the mating grounds.

Wildlife numbers in the mined areas appear to be on the rise and conservationists cannot hide their enthusiasm about this unorthodox form of protecting lands previously trampled by people or overgrazed by sheep.

This pirate dog seriously wanted to kick Nica's ass

Montana Quarters Recalled

The U. S. Treasury announced today that it is recalling all of the Montana quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state.

"We are recalling all the new Montana quarters that were recently issued," Treasury Undersecretary Jack Shackleford said Monday.

"This action is being taken after numerous reports that the new quarters will not work in parking meters, vending machines, pay phones or other coin-operated devices."

Shackleford said the problem lies in the unique design of the Montana quarter, which was created by a recent graduate of Montana State University in Bozeman.

Apparently, the duct tape holding the two dimes and the nickel together keeps jamming the coin-operated devices

This sign from Glasgow makes my head hurt

OK. So . . .

1. I have to get permission to trespass.
2. But in order to get permission, I have to trespass on the property to ask if I can have permission to tresspass.
3. Which is trespassing.
4. But once I have permission, I can trespass.
5. But if I have permission, I'm not trespassing.

I figure this person makes his or her living writing federal rules.

Pets In Uniform

There are weird things that are understandable, there are weird things that are beyond understanding.

"Imagine: your dog, cat, or other pet in full military regalia."

Find A Human

Here's a listing of phone codes for numerous companies that will allow you to talk to a human without spending 20 minutes in voice jail.

Another fund raiser for New Orleans

I particularly like these two qoutes:

"This is not an instant process. Basically, you’ll have an account as soon as we can get to it."

But still, send us your money.

"Also, if any charities would like to work directly with us to make this process easier on everyone’s part, please email me at the above address."

Because nothing says "I want to help." like asking women to send you pictures of their breasts and then charging people to look at those pictures.

How the Red Cross will spend your dollar (bills)

Strip shows are back in the city's famous French Quarter. Erotic dancers and strippers are entertaining crowds of police, firefighters and military personnel instead of the usual audiences of drunken conventioneers and tourists in Bourbon Street's Deja Vu club, which reopened this week.

What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits the windshield?

After crossing the Missouri south of Culbertson bugs began hitting the windshield. Not all at once, but one every minute or so. Each bug made the same "pop" noise and left an identical mark. For 25 miles it was like driving through a slow snowstorm. After a while I learned to watch for them like they were snowflakes, leaning forward in my seat, cheering those who would rise up at the last millisecond and avoid the windshield, wincing as the slow or unlucky came hurtling at the windshield, oblivious to their fate until the last terrible, final instant when what had been the air supporting them became the hardest thing they had ever known and they became one more identical mark, anonymous in their death.

Man it's boring driving in northeast Montana.

Greetings From Glasgow

I'm on tour this week, Helena to Havre to Glasgow to Sidney to Miles City to Billings to Helena.