Wonders Of A Well-weathered Skeleton: October 2012

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Emergency Compliment Generator

Need a compliment?

Silos Loom as Death Traps on American Farms

More here.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast.

At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?'

Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!'

They are knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?'

'I lied about my age', Bob replies.

'What, did you tell her you were only 50?'

Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'

Monday, October 22, 2012

Read, print and share

Link

Saturday, October 20, 2012

99 Great Life Hacks

You can scroll down by mousing over the pictures.

Before the death of the sock monkey.

Gracie and Ellie - Best Buds

We were looking for a movie to watch tonight on pay-per-view and saw, "Two and A Half Men." Didn't know that they had made a movie of the TV show so we bought it.

Turns out that it was hard-core porn with two guys and a tranny. =:O

The Swiss Army Survival Tampon — 10 Survival Uses

Here.

View the details of Romney's tax plan

Click here to view the details.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Yes, that's my dog.

So earlier today I noticed that Gracie has some smudging/dirt/grease on her forehead:

and I thought that since she had been in the garage earlier, maybe she had gone underneath the truck and sniffed where I ran over a skunk or something on the highway. But then . . .

I noticed that her jaw was also dirty. There were no holes in the yard where she had been digging so I was a bit puzzled. Until . . .

I remembered that when I was hiding biscuits around the house for her to find, I had dropped one in this large candle holder thinking that it was too deep for her to reach it.

Yeah, that's my dog.

A joke

Prompted by this picture from a friend coming home to her subdivision on this very blustery day:

One day Lena stops Ole and tells him that the outhouse is full and he has to do something about it. Ole comments that Sven is coming over the next weekend, and since he has been going to an engineering school he should have an idea of the best way to handle the situation.

That weekend Sven comes over and Ole explains his dilemma....

"Sven, we got to do somethin' about the outhouse, it is full and Lena is getting very upset about it."

"Well Ole, I have an idea. We will place several sticks of dynamite around the outside of the outhouse with a fuse just long enough to allow us to run behind the house before it goes off. The outhouse will be blown straight up, the crap in the hole will be blown out into the fields to fertilize them, then outhouse will fall right back down to were it was."

Ole thought this was a fantastic plan so Ole and Sven got to work and set all the dynamite just right. They lit the fuse and ran for the house. Just as they got to the back of the house Lena came running out the back door and made a bee line for the outhouse. Before Ole could stop her she ducked into the outhouse slamming the door behind her and......

BOOOOM!, the dynamite blew.......the outhouse then shot straight up, the crap was blown out to the fields, and the outhouse dropped right back down where it originally sat, just like Sven had planned.

Ole runs to the outhouse worried about Lena and reaches it just as she opens the door to come out. "Lena, Lena.....are you alright?"

Lena is a little shaken up but responds .... "Yes Ole, I am fine.......but I have to tell you, I'm sure glad I didn't let that one go in the house!"

Better than speed bumps . . .

How Denmark handles speed limits (NSFW)

The Dueling Flickr Feeds Of Barack Obama And Mitt Romney

The Annotated White House Flickr Feed returns with a special Election 2012 edition. Here areThe Guardian's Ana Marie Cox and Huffington Post political reporter Jason Linkins to explain the politics behind the pictures. How much time does "examine some corn" take up in the President's daily schedule? What scary story is Bill Clinton about to tell? Who enjoys posing for pictures more: Joe Biden or Bo? And how does the White House's photostream compare with Mitt Romney's?

Ana Marie: Bad news and good news. The bad news: this is a still from that dog's hostage video.

The HPV Micro-Quiz

By Edith Zimmerman | October 15, 2012

The HPV vaccine doesn't ...

A) "make" young women more promiscuous.

B) have a car.

C) both of the above.

D) all of the above.

E) C and D.

Answer: E.

Monday, October 15, 2012

A Joke

A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am.

'About 32,' is the reply.'

'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonalds and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.' The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'

Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store on her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk this burning question.

The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'

Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, 'Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.'

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay.....How old am I?'

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, 'Madam, you are 50.'

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you tell?'

The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'

'I promise I won't' she says.

'I was behind you at McDonalds'