When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Very Cool Map
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Verizon Responds to Consumer Complaints
A few weeks ago, I wrote about two particularly nasty Verizon Wireless practices. First, Verizon doubled the early-cancellation fee for smartphones, the price you pay for canceling before your two-year contract is up (it’s now $350).
Second, I passed along a note from a Verizon whistleblower who identified a really outrageous Verizon profit center: if you accidentally hit one of the arrow keys on your Verizon cellphone (which come premapped to various Verizon Internet functions), you’re charged $2 instantaneously, even if you cancel instantly. (Verizon confirms that on many models, you can’t remap those buttons to other functions even if you’re tech-savvy enough to try.)
To my delight, the F.C.C. got on the case, even citing my original post. It formally asked Verizon for some answers about both issues.
Verizon hemmed, hawed, asked for an extension on the deadline, and finally responded on Friday. You can read the entire outrageous document herehere.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Using Menu Psychology to Entice Diners
A study published in the spring by Dr. Kimes and other researchers at Cornell found that when the prices were given with dollar signs, customers — the research subjects dined at St. Andrew’s Cafe at the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, N.Y. — spent less than when no dollar signs appeared. The study, published in the Cornell Hospitality Report, also found that customers spent significantly more when the price was listed in numerals without dollar signs, as in “14.00” or “14,” than when it included the word “dollar,” as in “Fourteen dollars.” Apparently even the word “dollar” can trigger what is known as “the pain of paying.”
Mr. Rapp, of Palm Springs, Calif., also says that if a restaurant wants to use prices that include cents, like $9.99 or $9.95 (without the dollar sign, of course), he strongly recommends .95, which he said “is a friendlier price,” whereas .99 is “cornier.” On the other hand, 10, or “10 dollars,” has attitude, which is what restaurants using those price formats are selling.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
A good story
A Joke
A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, 'You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.'
So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, 'I 'ave some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey makes you wild at sex.'
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what
the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them,
being the Sex God that he was.
The husband asked the man, 'How could sandals make you a sex freak?'
The Jamaican replied, 'Just try dem on, Mon.'
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in
and tried them on.
As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen before!!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over the table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's thighs.
The Jamaican began screaming: 'You got dem on de wrong feet!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
I like this idea.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Somebody's gonna get coal in their stocking
Santa promotes obesity and drink-driving, claims health expert
Dr Nathan Grills from Monash University in Australia said the idea of a fat Father Christmas gorging on brandy and mince pies as he drove his sleigh around the world delivering presents was not the best way to promote a healthy and safe lifestyle among the young.
Writing on bmj.com, Dr Grills said: "Santa only needs to affect health by 0.1 per cent to damage millions of lives."
Dr Grills carried out a review of literature and web-based material to assess Santa's potential negative impact on public health.
The investigation revealed very high Santa awareness among children, with children in America stating he was the only fictional character more highly recognised than Ronald McDonald.
Dr Grills also claimed the image of Santa was often used to promote unhealthy products such as soft drinks.
He wrote:"Like Coca-Cola, Santa has become a major export item to the developing world."
While Santa is now banned from smoking, images of him enjoying a pipe or cigar can still be found on Christmas cards.
Father Christmas could also potentially promote drink-driving, argued Grills, referring to the tradition of leaving Santa Claus a brandy to wish him well on his travels.
And in a further blow to one of the central symbols of Christmas, Dr Grills claimed Santa also had the potential to spread harmful diseases.
"If Santa sneezes or coughs around 10 times a day, all the children who sit on his lap may end up with swine flu as well as their Christmas present," he said.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Seasonal Greetings to All My Friends
To All My Democratic Friends:
Please accept with no obligation, implied, or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere . Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference.
To My Libertarian & Republican Friends:
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year for 2010.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Why we should eat horses instead of riding them.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
10 years of UM police reports
2:50 a.m. (Trisha Miller)
Police said they extinguished a brown couch that was on fire in the front yard of the Sigma Phi Epsilon house on University Avenue. The fire was small enough for the officers to put out and the fire department was not notified, [Lt. Jim] Lemcke said. No one at the house was available for comment Monday.
“It happened shortly after the bars closed,” Lemcke said. “But I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.”
11:35 p.m. (Zachary Franz)
Public Safety received a report concerning suspicious activity in the University Village. The responding officer found two women, about 19 years old, swinging on the playground wearing nothing but panties.
“If we get this kind of call more often, it would really help our recruit of new officers,” Lemcke said. The women were encouraged to dress more conservatively, but will face no charges.
“It is, after all, not illegal to swing in just panties,” Lemcke said.
11:11 p.m. (Zachary Franz)
Officers investigating a reported theft were questioning a Knowles Hall resident, and realized the student had been drinking. He is younger than 21 and on probation, of which alcohol consumption is a violation. Officers called his probation officer. Recognizing he was going to be arrested, the student attempted to flee. Officers shot the fleeing student with a Taser, causing him to lose control of his bowels, [Chief Jim] Lemcke said. The man broke loose from the Taser, but complied with officers after that.
“The guy didn’t feel he could run with a full load, I guess,” Lemcke said.
The student is a member of a Facebook group called “I Laugh In The Face Of Missoula Public Safety,” which ridicules the UM Office of Public Safety.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Ninth Annual Year In Ideas - New York Times
Cows With Names Make More Milk
Drunken Ultimatums
Empty Beer Bottles Make Better Weapons
Kitchen Sink That Puts Out Fires, The
Literary Alzheimer's
Friday, December 11, 2009
Think about it
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer's history if you die. 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? 7. Map Quest needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. 10. Bad decisions make good stories. 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. 13.. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to the ten-page paper that I swear I did not make any changes to. 14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -- ever. 15. I hate it when I miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? 16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. 17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that? 19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. 20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with a Budweiser than Kay. |
A joke
Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story in the LA Times read: 'California archaeologists, finding traces of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.'
One week later, The Fargo Forum, reported the following:
After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Napolean , North Dakota , Ole Olson, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing.. Ole has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, North Dakota had already gone wireless.
Thank Heaven for Ole.
Ever wondered why you don't see dead penguins?
Wonder no more! -- It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
'Freeze a jolly good fellow'.
Then they kick him in the ice hole.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Guess what I'm getting her for Christmas?!
You can choose between a pair of earrings or a necklace.
*see pictures to decide*
Please conversation with me to tell me which one you want after you make your purchase.
They have been professionally freeze dried.
Measure about 2" from tip to cap.
What gang's "sign" would she be making?
A San Antonio high school student is being punished for making a funny face in her school photo. As a result, school officials have decided not to print her picture in the yearbook.
15-year-old Charlie Patton says she made a weird face because she was trying to make people smile. On photo day, she said the photographer hesitated before taking the snapshot.
"The camera girl looked at my mom and said, ‘You alright with that, mom?’" Patton recalls. "My mom said, ‘Sure, of course.’"
But administrators didn’t approve of the image. School officials are comparing her expression in her school picture to gang signs.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Every Act That Has Appeared At The University Of Montana since 1971
C | |
Cabaret | 4/18/1989 |
Candidates in the Mall (after Day w/o art) | |
Govt Candidate Forums | |
Candlebox | 9/20/2000 |
Capote, Truman | 2/19/1976 |
Carrington, Rodney | 8/19/2008 |
Carroll, Jim Spoken Word | 2/19/1999 |
Carmichael, Stokely | 10/6/1973 |
Carmichael, Stokely | 10/6/1973 |
The Carpenters | 5/12/1973 |
Cash, Johnny | 9/20/1978 |
Cats | 4/1/2005 |
Chadbourne, Eugene | 5/13/1989 |
Chamber Music of the Lincoln Center | 3/7/1981 |
Chanticleer | 10/19/1993 |
Charles, Ray | 10/4/1974 |
Charles, Ray | 10/14/1984 |
Chase, Stephanie | 2/5/1984 |
Chavez Ceaser | 12/5/1986 |
Cheap Trick | 7/17/1980 |
Cheap Trick and .38 Special (under Thirty) | 2/26/1987 |
Monday, December 07, 2009
An Odd Book
An online book, written under the name of the senior class president at Timberlane Regional High School, has the school community buzzing — and administrators mum.
"SEN10RS The Good, the Bad and the Really Really Bad," which was posted as being written by Joshua Peter Tubbs, was available through an online search yesterday. The online book categorizes the 350-plus members of the Class of 2010, and offers often scathing opinions of them.
In the book's introduction, the author describes himself as "a straight-A student" who has "never ever gotten a single detention or similar punishment."
"I am rather cocky in my intelligence, and I am definitely an intellectual elitist so if the stupider children would like to leave, that would be fine by me," the author wrote.
The first 10 or more pages of the book are devoted to Joshua Tubbs' background, goals — including teaching elementary school — and writing samples. He then lists the 28 categories he assigns to his classmates, ranging from "fake girls" and "druggie" to "gangstah" and "special education."
What follows are more than 70 pages of individual assessments, in alphabetical order, of 349 students. When he gets to Joshua Tubbs, he writes, "No explanation needed, I am just the best thing since canned bread."
A Joke
She said, "I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible golf cart wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced..
"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place ."
Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.
"Now," she announced in a quavering voice, thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with relief.
The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, "I'm Tom."
The entire congregation held its breath.
"I just want to tell my wife that the word is 'sternum'."
What's the most ever lost in Las Vegas?
During a year-long gambling binge at the Caesars Palace and Rio casinos in 2007, Terrance Watanabe managed to lose nearly $127 million.
The run is believed to be one of the biggest losing streaks by an individual in Las Vegas history. It devoured much of Mr. Watanabe's personal fortune, he says, which he built up over more than two decades running his family's party-favor import business in Omaha, Neb. It also benefitted the two casinos' parent company, Harrah's Entertainment Inc., which derived about 5.6% of its Las Vegas gambling revenue from Mr. Watanabe that year.
Terrance Watanabe, 52, is believed to have the biggest losing streak in Las Vegas history, losing $127 million dollars in one year. Mr. Watanabe, who now lives in the Bay Area, stands near the entrance to Stanford University on Dec. 3, 2009.
Today, Mr. Watanabe and Harrah's are fighting over another issue: whether the casino company bears some of the responsibility for his losses.
A glass of wine, a mug of beer.
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.
In a number of carefully controlled trials,
Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink
1 liter of water each day,
At the end of the year we would have absorbed
More than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria
Found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop..
However,
We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer
(or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor)
Because alcohol has to go through a purification process
Of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health.
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
Than to drink water and be full of shit.
Yes, Miky, There Are Rabbis in Montana
HELENA, Mont. — In Montana, a rabbi is an unusual sight. So when a Hasidic one walked into the State Capitol last December, with his long beard, black hat and long black coat, a police officer grabbed his bomb-sniffing German shepherd and went to ask the exotic visitor a few questions.
(Click the link to read what happened.)
I got 404'd today. Cleverly
You 404’d it. Gnarly, dude.
Surfin’ ain’t easy, and right now, you’re lost at sea. But don’t worry; simply pick an option from the list below, and you’ll be back out riding the waves of the Internet in no time.
- 1. Hit the “back” button on your browser. It’s perfect for situations like this!
- 2. Head on over to the home page.
- 3. Punt.