Best New Drinking Game - Edward Forty Hands

Winter Dog

Montana Temperature Conversion Chart

60 above
Floridians wear coats, gloves and woolly hats.
Montana people sunbathe.

50 above
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Montana people plant gardens.

40 above
Italian cars won't start.
Montana people drive with the windows down.

32 above
Distilled water freezes.
Montanans store their beer outdoors.

20 above
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Montana people have the last cook-out before it gets cold.

15 above
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
Montana people throw on a sweatshirt.

0 degrees
Californians fly away to Mexico.
Montanans lick the flagpole.

20 below
People in Miami cease to exist.
Montana people get out their winter coats.

40 below
Hollywood disintegrates.
Montana Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.

60 below
Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.
Montana Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

80 below
Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
Montana people rent some videos.

100 below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Montanans get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

297 below
Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Montana cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

460 below
ALL atomic motion stops.
Montana people start saying...."Cold 'nuff for ya?"

500 below
Hell freezes over.
The Montana State Bobcats take the championship

Yeah, it's kind of like that.

Barbie and The Birds

How to read flowcharts

The logic of Bush

"I've abandoned free-market principles to save the free-market system."

A good business

A new cologne - from Burger King. (really)

Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat.

Mac Tip - Zoom in on a screen

CTRL then up on the mouse pad.

Frank brought his kid to work, I won a bet.

Content of Teenage Girl's iPod

Santa had a problem flying between Two Dot and Harlowtown

A Heart-warming Story

My grandson was lost at a large shopping mall.

He approached a uniformed policeman and said, 'I've lost my grandpa!'

'The cop asked, 'What's he like?'

The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied,

'Crown Royal whiskey and women with big tits.’

I am so proud of that kid.

If the Iraqi's can throw shoes at Bush, so can we!

As a sign of your admiration, please feel free (compelled) to send your old shoes to;

George W. Bush Presidential Library
c/o SMU
6425 Boaz Lane
Dallas TX 75205

Top 10 Scariest Santas

Let's face it, Santa's a creepy guy. He lives in a secluded place, he slides down chimneys in the middle of the night, and to top it all off, he invites your children to sit on his lap...at a mall! Looks like someone should make a list and check it twice on this big guy. Very naughty and not very nice... we give you our top 10 picks for the all-time scariest Santas.

Want It!

First Amendment Win

Awake - worth watching

It's scary, it will make you squirm and it has Jessica Alba.

Dear Dr. Phil,

When I retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favourite pastime -- bass fishing. I got my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing.

Finally, one day at the Bait & Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam, the shop owner, who it turned out loves bass fishing as much as I do. We quickly became fishing buddies. As I said, the wife doesn't care about fishing. She not only refuses to join us, but she always complains that I spend too much time fishing.

A few weeks ago, Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever. Not only did I catch the most beautiful bass you've ever seen, only a few minutes later Sam must have caught his twin brother!

So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice bass that we caught and showed the picture to the wife hoping that maybe she'd get interested. Instead she says she doesn't want me to go fishing at all anymore! And she wants me to sell the boat! I think she just doesn't like to see me enjoying myself. What would you do? Tell the wife to forget it and continue my hobby or quit fishing and sell the boat as she insists?

Thanks,

P.S. Enclosed is a picture of Sam with the two bass we caught.