My New Ride

1999 Pontiac Sunfire GT

Purchased from Troy Gary Auto Sales

It's sweeeet!

I'm going to put up a Christmas decoration this year

And if I feel particularly evil I'll give it a red nose.

Which mask should I buy?

I hate being a corporate shill but, well, they are kind of creepy cool.

Mad magazine covers

Roll your mouse over the page to see the various covers enlarge.

A little bit of nostalgia.

Last Year's Halloween Pumpkin

I just couldn't get into Halloween last year.

Extremepumpkins.com

Last year a friend had to pick me up before sunrise. I lit up both pumpkins I had carved to light the way to my house.

Later that day when we were teaching a class she explained that the differences in our world view could be explained by the fact that she carved happy pumpkins and mine were very odd mutants. (which is true - I like pumpkins that make people go "Ew!")

This site gave me some ideas for this year.

What to do about urban deer

"Basic female deer anatomy (or lack thereof) makes the Deer IUD and Deer Diaphragm impractical, and Deer Spermicide foam holds little hope because it has to be used just before mating—every time, of course, which could run into a lot of foam. Besides, foam has only proved effective when bucks also wear condoms."

Something that I should have been told 7 miles, 1400 feet and 30 minutes earlier

Not that I failed to notice once I got there.

Do you like beer?

Yum, yum, yum! Look at that great big frothy glass in Toi's hand. Wouldn't you just LOVE IT if a beautiful girl in a freaky cleavage-poppin' Oktoberfest outfit handed you a nice icy cold beer RIGHT NOW? Mmm, beer! Would you still drink it if . . .

A very good movie

Turn your sound off unless you like annoying French music.

For ~K

A very interesting due process case

"A Florida court will hear arguments on Friday in a case where the accuracy of a breathalyser is being scrutinised because the manufacturer has refused to release the source code."

If the breathalyser machine is your "accuser", should you have the right to examine it's source code to ensure that it is accurate?

Or can the source code be withheld from you because it is a "trade secret"?

It's probably a good thing I don't have kids. Part II

Although I am not a Star War's fan, this is a great kid picture.

I laughed, but I don't know why.

If I had one of these, I might actually take a bath.



Be nice. You know what I mean.

On the way to Kalispell

It's a controlled burn.

A really, really bad brand name. Especially for a disability product.

"Have you been dreaming of that unique custom wheelchair that would not cost you an arm and a leg? "

Er, actually, that's why some people use a wheelchair. It Literally DID cost them an arm and a leg to get in that chair.

Has this artwork gone too far?

Called Snow White And The Madness Of Truth, the installation features a photo of Hanadi Jaradat, a 29-year-old trainee lawyer who blew up herself and 19 Israelis in a Haifa restaurant in October.

The work is accompanied by a piece of Bach music entitled My Heart Is Swimming In Blood.

I found out how to make money off my dog

. . . the company behind the innovative form of advertising is appealing for owners of larger dogs to register their pooches for future "dogverts".

Nica probably wouldn't be good advertising for obedience school. Maybe for running shoes or "Deer B Gone" spray.

David Copperfield to 'magic' girl pregnant

1. The last time this happened there was a star in the east and three wise men.
2. Yeah, that's how my sister told my mom it happened.
3. This guy is wacko.
4. Didn't Michael Jackson already do this? Twice?

God DOES have a sense of humor

The cover photo on the latest issue of Patrick Buchanan's American Conservative magazine, bearing the cover line "After the Storm," is not that much different from many of the pictures coming out of the hurricane-stricken areas of the South. It shows a family of four children slogging through knee-deep water with two adult women. However, the "woman" on the far right is none other than well-known New Orleans drag queen and bartender Jack "Lady Charles" Nicholson.

Kara Hopkins, the magazine's executive editor, had no explanation other than "it was a good photo."

Bad Dog!

A message board I'm on recently held a contest for the worst "Bad Dog" pun.

You have been warned.

My two rottweillers, Abing and Aboom, started a protection racket in the neighbourhood, forcing other dogs to surrender a portion of their food and chewable toys in exchange for being left well alone. They carry out their operations with, I hate to admit, a certain degree of panache and swagger, vaguely reminiscent of a particular flavour of organised crime.
Bad Abing! Bad Aboom!

My dog Jur yanked free of his leash and started trying to dig up a burrowing woodland creature.
Bad Jur!

My dog, Minton, recently chewed up my favourite shuttlecock.
Bad Minton!

I bought a dog, and he was a hopeless misbehaver. He chewed up the furniture, he crapped on the carpet, and he bit the UPS lady. We got thrown out of obedience school after he started a brawl. I was ready to have him put to sleep, but my vet suggested I take him to the Oral Roberts Dog Obedience School. So I called 'em. They promised that, if I'd give them $500 and three weeks, they'd give me back a perfectly behaved dog. I was desperate, and I gave them the money and the dog.

Three weeks later, the ORDOS van pulled up in my driveway. The trainer got out, and he handed me a card with all the commands my dog would obey. He opened the side door, and my dog, perfectly groomed, stepped out with a little mortarboard on his furry noggin. I said, "down," and he laid down, watching me. I threw a tennis ball, and I said, "fetch." He dashed to the ball and brought it back, dropping it in my hand. The trainer left, and I was still not convinced. I told him, "Sit. Stay," and he did. I got in my truck, and I went to the drugstore to get some naproxen. When I got back, he had not moved an inch. I thought, "This is great! We'll go for a walk." I put a leash on him, and I said, "heel." His eyes widened. He rose up on his hind legs, he put a paw on my head, and he said, "Heeeeeeal!"