Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Make-Believe Maverick - A closer look at the life and career of John McCain reveals a disturbing record of recklessness and dishonesty
This is the story of the real John McCain, the one who has been hiding in plain sight. It is the story of a man who has consistently put his own advancement above all else, a man willing to say and do anything to achieve his ultimate ambition: to become commander in chief, ascending to the one position that would finally enable him to outrank his four-star father and grandfather.
In its broad strokes, McCain's life story is oddly similar to that of the current occupant of the White House. John Sidney McCain III and George Walker Bush both represent the third generation of American dynasties. Both were born into positions of privilege against which they rebelled into mediocrity. Both developed an uncanny social intelligence that allowed them to skate by with a minimum of mental exertion. Both struggled with booze and loutish behavior. At each step, with the aid of their fathers' powerful friends, both failed upward. And both shed their skins as Episcopalian members of the Washington elite to build political careers as self-styled, ranch-inhabiting Westerners who pray to Jesus in their wives' evangelical churches.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Boys and Girls - A short book about when and if to have sex.
(As told by the Welsh, apparently. Audio NSFW but hilarious.)
Friday, October 10, 2008
Montana Poet Laureate
I went to a reading tonight from Montana's Poet Laureate. He was pretty good.
HOLDING THE STONE
You must hold it close to your ear, and
when it speaks to you, you must respond
Richard Hugo
I found it by the Clark Fork
on a high bank above the river
where someone dumped remains
of an old road, broken slabs
of concrete crowding the river stones.
I admit my first thought was throw it,
skip it on the surface going gold
in sunset, dimple the water like
whitefish rising, give it back
to the river that gave it shape and color.
But once in my hand its calm
And luck took hold.
On the bank the dog found
something dead to roll in. She
perked her ears as if to listen,
wagged her tail, shook herself proud
in primal perfume. Her good-luck
demeanor almost won me over,
but still I had to bathe her in the river.
That was years ago, first night
In Missoula, first home, a motel
by the river. Now I have a son.
And I still have the stone. Its color
changes. It goes from brown to gray
to green like the year. I hold it close
to my ear and listen.
HOLDING THE STONE
You must hold it close to your ear, and
when it speaks to you, you must respond
Richard Hugo
I found it by the Clark Fork
on a high bank above the river
where someone dumped remains
of an old road, broken slabs
of concrete crowding the river stones.
I admit my first thought was throw it,
skip it on the surface going gold
in sunset, dimple the water like
whitefish rising, give it back
to the river that gave it shape and color.
But once in my hand its calm
And luck took hold.
On the bank the dog found
something dead to roll in. She
perked her ears as if to listen,
wagged her tail, shook herself proud
in primal perfume. Her good-luck
demeanor almost won me over,
but still I had to bathe her in the river.
That was years ago, first night
In Missoula, first home, a motel
by the river. Now I have a son.
And I still have the stone. Its color
changes. It goes from brown to gray
to green like the year. I hold it close
to my ear and listen.
A Joke
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, 'What are you in here for?'
The second kid says, 'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous.'
The first kid says, 'You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jello and ice cream. It's a breeze.
'The second kid then asks, 'What are you here for?'
The first kid says, 'A circumcision.'
'Whoa!' the second kid replies. 'Good luck buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."
The first kid leans over and asks, 'What are you in here for?'
The second kid says, 'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous.'
The first kid says, 'You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jello and ice cream. It's a breeze.
'The second kid then asks, 'What are you here for?'
The first kid says, 'A circumcision.'
'Whoa!' the second kid replies. 'Good luck buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Matthew McGough: My First Day With The Yankees
It's an audio story of his becoming a bat boy for the Yankees. Even if you don't care about baseball, listen to it.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Mail Goggles
When you enable Mail Goggles, it will check that you're really sure you want to send that late night Friday email. And what better way to check than by making you solve a few simple math problems after you click send to verify you're in the right state of mind? By default, Mail Goggles is only active late night on the weekend as that is the time you're most likely to need it.
Investment tips for 2008
With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and Acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America this might be some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG
bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in later this year:
1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker.
3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.
4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
ZipAudiDoDa .
5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!
And finally...
9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:
TittyTittyBangBang
bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in later this year:
1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker.
3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.
4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
ZipAudiDoDa .
5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.
6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.
7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.
8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!
And finally...
9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:
TittyTittyBangBang
Monday, October 06, 2008
A Joke from Angie
Yesterday I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I ease my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully get out of the car and open the trunk.
I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so lifelike you wouldn't believe! They are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.
But to my surprise, cars start slowing down looking at my lifelike men. And of course, traffic starts backing up. Everybody is tooting their horns and waving like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulls up behind me.
He gets out of his car and starts walking towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!
'What's going on here?'
'My car has a flat tire', I said calmly.
'Well, what the hell are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?'
I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him,
'Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!'
I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so lifelike you wouldn't believe! They are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.
But to my surprise, cars start slowing down looking at my lifelike men. And of course, traffic starts backing up. Everybody is tooting their horns and waving like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulls up behind me.
He gets out of his car and starts walking towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!
'What's going on here?'
'My car has a flat tire', I said calmly.
'Well, what the hell are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?'
I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him,
'Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!'
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Dexter - TV worth watching (and on Netflix)
Playing a sympathetic serial killer may sound like a stretch, but former "Six Feet Under" star Michael C. Hall pulls it off neatly in this Showtime drama about a likable forensics expert who channels his violent tendencies by killing miscreants who've avoided punishment. So harmless is Dexter Morgan's (Hall) demeanor that neither his girlfriend (Julie Benz) nor his cop sister (Jennifer Carpenter) has any inkling of his extracurricular activities.
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Big Trees in Montana
His find came close to toppling Bruce Miehe’s western red cedar, which was listed in 1981. Miehe’s tree is 26 feet shorter, but the circumference is nearly 40 inches larger.
The trees are ranked according to a points system that adds the circumference, height and one-quarter of the crown’s average spread. Trees within 15 points of each other are listed as co-champions. Lane’s tree scored a 544, and Miehe’s trees comes in at 555 points.
Mackerel Economics in Prison Leads to Appreciation for Oily Fillets
When Larry Levine helped prepare divorce papers for a client a few years ago, he got paid in mackerel. Once the case ended, he says, "I had a stack of macks."
Mr. Levine and his client were prisoners in California's Lompoc Federal Correctional Complex. Like other federal inmates around the country, they found a can of mackerel -- the "mack" in prison lingo -- was the standard currency.
"It's the coin of the realm," says Mark Bailey, who paid Mr. Levine in fish. Mr. Bailey was serving a two-year tax-fraud sentence in connection with a chain of strip clubs he owned. Mr. Levine was serving a nine-year term for drug dealing. Mr. Levine says he used his macks to get his beard trimmed, his clothes pressed and his shoes shined by other prisoners. "A haircut is two macks," he says, as an expected tip for inmates who work in the prison barber shop.
Mr. Levine and his client were prisoners in California's Lompoc Federal Correctional Complex. Like other federal inmates around the country, they found a can of mackerel -- the "mack" in prison lingo -- was the standard currency.
"It's the coin of the realm," says Mark Bailey, who paid Mr. Levine in fish. Mr. Bailey was serving a two-year tax-fraud sentence in connection with a chain of strip clubs he owned. Mr. Levine was serving a nine-year term for drug dealing. Mr. Levine says he used his macks to get his beard trimmed, his clothes pressed and his shoes shined by other prisoners. "A haircut is two macks," he says, as an expected tip for inmates who work in the prison barber shop.
Top Nine Songs About Masturbation
4. Turning Japanese by the Vapors
"Turning Japanese" means squinting your eyes while rubbing one out. But when you're done, you turn back to whatever nationality you were before you started.
"Turning Japanese" means squinting your eyes while rubbing one out. But when you're done, you turn back to whatever nationality you were before you started.
Friday, October 03, 2008
Rabies Schmabies
STEVENSVILLE - Upwards of 80 Stevensville Elementary School students may have to receive rabies vaccine shots after a parent brought an infected bat to school for show and tell.
The parent brought the dead bat to school Monday morning and allowed kindergarten and fifth grade students in her children’s classes to touch the animal after giving the group a short presentation, said Stevensville School Superintendent Kent Kultgen.
The woman, who reportedly works as a nurse in Missoula, offered the students a hand sanitizer after they handled the bat.
In total, there may be up to 100 people who may be at risk for the disease, said Dr. Carol Calderwood of the Ravalli County Health Department.
“Kids were apparently putting their fingers in the bat’s mouth,” Calderwood said.
The parent brought the dead bat to school Monday morning and allowed kindergarten and fifth grade students in her children’s classes to touch the animal after giving the group a short presentation, said Stevensville School Superintendent Kent Kultgen.
The woman, who reportedly works as a nurse in Missoula, offered the students a hand sanitizer after they handled the bat.
In total, there may be up to 100 people who may be at risk for the disease, said Dr. Carol Calderwood of the Ravalli County Health Department.
“Kids were apparently putting their fingers in the bat’s mouth,” Calderwood said.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Creative Bank Robber
MONROE, Wash. – In a move that could be right out of a Hollywood movie, a brazen crook apparently used a Craigslist ad to hire a dozen unsuspecting decoys to help him make his getaway following a robbery outside a bank on Tuesday. He then made his escape in an inner tube on the Skykomish River.
This is a matter of great urgency.
Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We can not directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may speedily transfer your commision for this transaction. After I receive that information I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We can not directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may speedily transfer your commision for this transaction. After I receive that information I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson
This is a matter of great urgency.
Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We can not directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may speedily transfer your commision for this transaction. After I receive that information I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We can not directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may speedily transfer your commision for this transaction. After I receive that information I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson
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