Monday, October 08, 2007

The Politically Correct get upset about a Halloween costume


Halloween is around the corner. And with it comes an annual chance for normally conservative women to dress like sluts and local cougars to blend in a little better. This year 3Wishes.com adds to the old standards of slutty nurse, slutty catwoman, and slutty police officer with slutty eating disorder by introducing the “Anna Rexia” costume. We doubt they grasp the irony of stuffing a busty model into a costume that invokes anorexia nervosa much less the idea that this costume whips up more female body issues than every season of Baywatch combined. But they are an equal opportunity offender. The get up is available in a plus size just in case big-boned chicks want to get in on the screw-with-the-mentally-afflicted Halloween action.

I guess they would have hung me (with a hemp rope) the year I wore dark glasses, had a vacuum cleaner on a dog leash and a sign around my neck that said, "Please help. I am blind and my dog has asthma. "

Saturday, October 06, 2007

I Need This Because:


1. I can impress women with my big six inches;
2. You never know when you might need to measure something;
3. Guys who carry a tape measure, ON THEIR WRIST are really, really sexy.

Love It!

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Sunday, September 23, 2007

A Fairy Tale

One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who surprisingly, did not whine, nag or bitch........


But this was a long time ago..... and it was just ONE day.

The End.

Montana Temperature Conversion Chart

60 above
Floridians wear coats, gloves and woolly hats.
Montana people sunbathe.

50 above
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Montana people plant gardens.

40 above
Italian cars won't start.
Montana people drive with the windows down.

32 above
Distilled water freezes.
Canyon Ferry water gets thicker.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

The Monkey Experiment, (or) “Why Do We Do That?”

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, all of the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result, and all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon the monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be attacked.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth.

Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.

Why not? Because as far as they know, that’s the way it’s always been done around there.

We are not like them. Wolves "kill", humans "lethally remove."

Three calves were confirmed killed by wolves on private land southwest of Drummond this week. USDA Wildlife Services lethally removed four wolves in response to the depredations and more removals have been authorized.

A very stupid and self-centered Californian

"While it has been difficult for me to accept that I have a brother in the military, I must allow him to pursue whatever path he is drawn toward, and he has admitted to me that he feels called to being there. However, for anyone else out there considering a career in the academy, let it be known: the U.S. Naval Academy is not an elite college; it is first and foremost a branch of the U.S. military."

Breakfast in Texas

Want It!


I like me some geek t-shirt.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Home Inspection Nightmares


You know you're a redneck HVAC tech when you use a chew can for a junction box.

Lamar Rase
Complete Home Inspections, Inc.
Missoula, Mont.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

I didn't catch it, but I get to eat it.


What a nice way to spend a Tuesday evening - trolling for trout (it chose the one line that wasn't mine) then going up and down the lake real fast in a sweet speedboat. We got off before the rain started too.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Want It!

How to replace a bridge overnight

Blackwater kicked out of Iraq?

"It was inevitable," That's P.W. Singer's reaction to the Iraqi government " banning" military contractor Blackwater from the country. For years, no one has followed the rise of these privatized soldiers more closely than Singer, a Brookings Institution Senior Fellow and author of the ground-breaking Corporate Warriors. Companies like Blackwater have been roaming Iraq without oversight or management for years. Of course the Iraqi government was going to lose patience. Here is Singer’s take:

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Best new band - Simian Mobile Disco

Indexed

"This site is a little project that lets me make fun of some things and sense of others. I use it to think a little more relationally without resorting to doing actual math."

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Have some fun with Bob Dylan

Uncle Jay explains Congressional Recesses

I can't believe that I didn't buy this cookbook!



The other surprising thing is that the author is an India Indian, living in South Dakota.

New episode of Midwest Teen Sex Show - Gym Class


"I hated the body I had in high school. I never wanted to be naked in the locker room. But if I had that body now, I'd walk around the locker room naked. Heck, I'd go to other schools and walk around their locker room naked."

Friday, September 14, 2007

You Can't Touch This

Want It!


246 National Lampoons on one DVD.

80 m.p.h. + rock in roadway equals . . .


Thankfully, it was the work car, not one of mine.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Criminal

Minnesota Toe Licker Nabbed

After mugging, creep told victim, "Now I'm going to suck your feet."

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Worth 1000 Photoshop Contest - Remix Propaganda Posters

Hello OnStar? We have a problem.

On the way to the hospital, the couple called OnStar, a safety device installed in General Motors vehicles. A dispatcher helped Ariane through the process of delivering the placenta. After the entire process, the inside of the pickup truck was a mess.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

How to get rid of an unwanted date with just a push.

Car-baked Chocolate Chip Cookies



Of course, I had to find this on the last 90 degree day in Montana for this year.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Floating the Missouri

There was a heck of a tuber hatch. .
It's still smokey.
Welcome to the New West.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Don't drink too much.

"We're used to hearing weird stories, but with his intoxication we figured this one would be different, that the amount of money wouldn't be exact," said Waukesha Police Lt. William Graham. "How do you get so intoxicated that you lose your pants?"

The Midwest Teen Sex Show

Not what you might think. It's sexual EDUCATION. Funny and informative. I reccommend the "Older Boyfriend" episode to start with.

NSFW - language.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

How not to treat kids.

Electric shocks. Withholding food. Social isolation. Why are we paying for autistic, mentally retarded, and emotionally troubled kids to be treated like enemy combatants?

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Wired Magazine writes about the Berkely Pit

Berkeley Pit Lake is about a mile long and half again as wide, rimmed by naked rock walls that gleam white under the sun of big-sky country. The water is oxblood red at the surface, stained by manganese and iron; deeper down, heavy copper compounds turn it the color of limeade. It will burn your eyes, stain your clothes, and desiccate your skin. If you drink it, it will corrode your gullet before it poisons you. A dozen years ago, 342 snow geese made the mistake of overnighting at the lake. They were dead the next morning.

Want It!

Monday, August 27, 2007

Kangaroo Injured In Low-Speed Chase Through Alps

Remember little Johnny?

Remember reading all the jokes about "Little Johnny"? You know, the kid that the teachers are afraid to call on for answers in the class, for fear of what he might say... Well, finally a photo of "Little Johnny" has surfaced. See if you can find him in the picture!

The theme of this picture was, "Make a funny face"!

Sunday, August 26, 2007

A new unit of measurement: Mickey

Mickey = ratio of computer mouse movement to onscreen cursor movement.

Brilliant? Or Stupid?


Pocket Shot is a brand new way to enjoy your favorite hard liquor. No longer will you need to carry full size bottles. Gone are the breakable glass mini bottles. Now you can have it one shot at a time, any place, anywhere.

Each Pocket Shot is sealed in a near unbreakable, flexible, squishable, pocket stuffable pouch making them perfect for active activities, outdoor adventures, and glass restricting venues.

Pocket Shot is currently available in 5 flavors:

Vodka
Rum
Tequila
Whiskey
Gin

Big Hole Cow Pasture Open 2007


(Click the title above or the link below for more pictures.)

Just in time for winter - Cruggs!

Saturday, August 25, 2007