We saw a bear (not in our camp.)

How to be a cool dog

Montana Fire Tracker

You can even get an RSS feed on individual fires.

She told me we couldn't afford beer . . .

Welcome to Montana

Airport Electrical Outlets wiki

Want It! - Cooking Mama Video Game

The Wii Remote is your ultimate cooking utensil, putting you in total control of the cooking action as you chop, grate, slice, stir, roll and much more! Hold and point it in many different ways depending on the task (i.e. upright to mash potatoes, lengthwise to fry in a pan, etc.) to get the real sensation of cooking in a kitchen!
All-new Cooking Challenge Mode lets you and a friend go head-to-head in the ultimate multiplayer cook off to determine who can cook the fastest with the fewest mistakes.

Nick the Dragon Slayer - a story with a moral

Once upon a time, and far-far away, lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts. Nick the Dragon Slayer knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them.

One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he
could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer
readily agreed to the scheme and would pay when it was proven.

The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she
dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.

Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician, informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the
itch. The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins.

With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, with a laugh just told him to get lost. The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear.

The King immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer...

The moral of the story - - - - - - - - - - - - - Pay your freakin bills

Come on a ride with me.

. . . and this is your dog on steroids

A monument to the sheepherder

and his evil,

evil dog.

Things you don't want to find in your yard.

How to discover that your lug wrench has gone missing.

This flat tire is brought to you by the makers of Bubblegum. Only Bubblegum can stick to your tire in a gravel parking lot and hold a rock against your tread in a way that will cause a puncture.

**This offer not valid in temperatures below 90 degrees or within 3 miles of any human dwelling.

Want It!

Riding a wooden motorcycle down a hill would be cool.

The skirt? Not so much.

I was this kid (and still am.)

Clark Fork River - Kelly Creek to Kona Ranch

Beer, buddies and floating on a 105 degree Friday afternoon. It doesn't get much better.

(Except if we had caught a fish.)

Would it surprise you that this guy also had a lot of tattoos?

Phrase of the Day

"the black ice of adolescence"

Bong Hits for Jesus - The Game

Has the recent "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" case confused you about the current state of free speech rights in public high schools?

To help you sort out which speech is protected and which is not in this post-Bong Hits 4 Jesus world, we've teamed up with our friends at RedAphid.com to create "Bong Hits 4 Jesus - The Game!"

Want It!

The wick is not real but contains an LED instead. It gets lighted whenever you try to remove money from it. Should you persist in getting your fair share of nickels and times from inside, it will start vibrating and making noises until it erupts, scattering all your hard earned cash throughout the room.

This sounds like fun

If you've got some Alka-Seltzer tablets, a drill, some string, and lots of water, you've got all you need for a fun, summer-time (outdoor) game.

In downtown Helena

I wish that some of the people who say the deer are allright to have in Helena would bump into this fellow late at night while taking the garbage out or going for a walk.

Click the link for the proposed solution. Then note the date and the people in the comments section who are very, very stupid.

Oh good, now we know what the problem is.

The three best things about going to a softball game for 10 year-old girls.

1. Their pre-batting routine is done with the same seriousness and ritual as a major league batter. Which is both cute and impressive on someone who isn't even five feet tall.

2. The girls make up their own cheers, which are postive about the player up to bat rather than dissing the other team or players. My favorite? (shout each letter in the first three lines)

"G O O D I
G O O D I
G O O D I
Good eye!"

Best shout-out by a parent: "It's just a game . . . so win!"

3. Best softball team name ever. **


** This joke available only to Montana natives age 40 and older.

"Everyone in the raft must wear a life jacket" I said.

Another fun thing I did the weekend - ride a steam locomotive under the full moon

Virgina City Brewery Follies

Here's a short clip of one of the skits that had people falling on the floor laughing.

What I did on Friday

We went to the Brewery Follies in Virginia City. I haven't laughed that hard for that long in a very, very long time. They have four actors, two male, two female. They tell jokes, sing dirty songs, do skits about LSD and Paris Hilton and aging rock starts, etc. Here's one of the "clean" jokes:

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts cost $1.29, deer nuts are usually under a buck.

The show is a must see and it's more fun because your waitress is your actress is the singer is the person hawking t-shirts at intermission. Check out some of the videos on the link.

Graffitti

"A cigar is a banana for the monkey of the soul."

Suicide Food

What is Suicide Food? Suicide Food is any depiction of animals that act as though they wish to be consumed. Suicide Food actively participates in or celebrates its own demise. Suicide Food identifies with the oppressor. Suicide Food is a bellwether of our decadent society.

I want an iPhone but not, like, that bad.

Mitt Romney's Shaggy Dog Story

As the oldest son, Tagg Romney commandeered the way-back of the wagon, keeping his eyes fixed out the rear window, where he glimpsed the first sign of trouble. ''Dad!'' he yelled. ''Gross!'

It's fun to have guests who giggle

The George W. Bush Conspiracy Theory Generator

* This tool may not be used to create Democratic presidential candidate speeches or generate content for MoveOn.org without the express permission of Buttafly.com.

Afrigadget - a pretty cool blog

African ingenuity, like a bicycle converted to a traveling knife sharpener or a homemade welding machine.

How we celebrate the summer solstice in Montana

We floated at 90 degrees, had a short sprinkle of huge raindrops while the sun was shining, stopped for a martini, caught fish and came off the river at dark.

It was a pretty good day.

Apple's New iPhone

Apple is set to release the much-hyped iPhone Friday, June 29. Here are some of its most highly anticipated features:

Nanotechnology enables it to reassemble itself when thrown against wall
Exclusive link to Google Street View so you can watch yourself using your iPhone at all times
Takes Polaroids
When moved from hand to ear, makes Lightsaber sound effects
Prominent Apple logo
Reproduces through asexual budding
Has way, way more PRAM than the last thingy

Comes with an iPhone hat, so people know you own an iPhone during the brief periods you're not using it

Montana Football Plays Defense

Minisode - Bad TV in less time

On its online network Minisode, Sony is making more than 500 episodes of shows such as Charlie's Angels, Starsky & Hutch and Different Strokes available free, in condensed form. Its tagline: "The shows you love. Only shorter."

When online newspapers only do partial updates

A disarming story about political correctness run amok.

I have always wanted a Tesla coil, now I want one more

It's a whole new world out there.

I just received an email a friend sent wirelessly from the Jersey Lilly.

Ingomar isn't the edge of the known world, but it's close enough to walk to the edge. It's one of the last places I would have expected to find wireless access.

FAT IS ONLY UGLY UNTIL YOU PUT A NIPPLE ON IT!

You'll have to follow the link to find the pictures that explain this.

Great, another problem to worry about with my golf game

A Wildcreek golfer who hit a bad shot this evening started a brush fire that consumed 15-20 acres northeast of the golf course, fire officials said.

Scary restaurant buffet video

I don't know what is worse - trying to figure out which of the breaded seafood is "fresh", the scary music or the empty restaurant where I keep expecting zombies to break in at any second.

Worth Watching

Set in contemporary Moscow, NIGHT WATCH (NOCHNOI DOZOR) revolves around the conflict and balance maintained between the forces of light and darkness — the result of a medieval truce between the opposing sides. As night falls, the dark forces battle the super-human “Others” of the Night Watch, whose mission is to patrol and protect.

(Click on the link to watch a trailer.)

Road Signs

"Townsend, Montana. Where you don't lose your girlfriend, you just lose your turn."

This one goes out to the Creationists

Camping at 45 degrees with 15 mph winds

I want to do this with local TV

June 17, Czech artistic group ZTOHOVEN (a pun meaning „out of it" when read or hundred shits spoken) interfered on Czech TV broadcast.

Members of ZTOHOVEN connected up to one of the stationary camera during TV weathercast and in real time broadcast their own shots, which showed nuclear exposion.

Driving to work this morning . . .

I rear-ended a car at a stoplight, whilst not really paying attention.

The driver got out.. he was a dwarf.

He said, "I'm not happy"...

I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

I want to join the Swedish Army

I've never seen the U.S. Army slide a tank sideways in an icy parking lot while listening to heavy metal music.