HAPPY ouch! BIRTHDAY ouch! TO ouch! ME ouch! ouch! ouch!

Gruber ordered the paddle destroyed so it is not sold for a profit. Prosecutors expressed concern that the paddle could be sold in an online auction. The wooden paddle was 18 inches long, drilled with holes and was inscribed with the stage name of the woman who wielded it, "Velvet."

"We suggest cake and ice cream parties for birthdays in the future," Prosecutor Larry Jegley said.

Here's an iPod accessory I won't be ordering

I think you were listening to techno music (180 beats per minute) you would probably just explode.

NSFW - Not Safe For Work

Daily Photography Critique

I need to watch these many, many times.

School Bus Attacked

"The bus had not made it far from the school when it was forced to stop by a pile of branches and debris in the road, apparently placed as a barrier, Alexander said. That's when a group of boys began pelting the bus with rocks or other projectiles, shattering a window and sending the girls into hysteria, Alexander said."

"My son can't go to the prom . . .

. . . because there ain't but two straight girls in his class and both of them are ugly."

This is a rather hilarious sermon about homosexuality. May not be work safe.

Morning Sunrise

House With Bride

At that price, I shudder to think who might have come with my (relatively cheap) house.

Your Linguistic Profile

An easy 20 question quiz. My speech is:

60% General American English
15% Upper Midwestern
10% Midwestern
10% Yankee
5% Dixie

PETA Kills Animals

I'm pretty sure that if you found your way to this blog, you're not much of a PETA fan. Here's some more fodder for you (pun intended).

We'll be seeing them again when the bison hunt starts. Which reminds me, "What's red and yellow and blue and looks good on a hippie?"

"Fire."

Sandhill Cranes in the Paradise Valley

How to get stoners to wash their hands

This could also be fun to have in a psych ward.

I Found My Christmas Tree

Good Grief!

Cruise Ship Attack

I have not seen this bit in other coverage.

"The liner used a sonic blaster to foil the pirates. Developed by American forces to deter small boats from attacking warships, the non-lethal weapon sends out high-powered air vibrations that blow assailants off their feet. The equipment, about the size of a satellite dish, is rigged to the side of the ship."

And I love this understatement:

"One of the rockets certainly hit the ship — it went through the side of the liner into a passenger’s suite. The couple were in there at the time so it was a bit of an unpleasant experience.”

Death by Caffeine

How much of your favorite caffeinated drink will it take to kill you?

376 Coca-Cola's for your's truly.

Ordering Pizza in 2010

It feels like we are already getting close to this.

Science for the good of all humans

"The purpose of this experiment was to determine the highest possible concentration of alcohol attainable in a Jell-O shot, while still maintaining the structural integrity (i.e., the gelling properties) of the gelatin. "

This is soooo not going to happen at Victoria's Secret in the mall

A Dutch designer has created a wall of fake breasts to help male shoppers buy bras that fit their wives or girlfriends.

Wendy Rameckers works at the Piet Zwart Institute for Retail and Design in Rotterdam, reports Het Nieuwsblad.

"Most men have a selective memory," she explained. "They know all about their car, but never seem to know their wife's bra size.

"When trying to buy a sexy bra for their wife or girlfriend, usually they point to other women in the shop or, when asked about size, they say a 'handful'."

The wall consists of rows of silicon breasts in all sizes. By look and touch, male shoppers can work out the right size, she says.

Made from beer

Another foreign advertisment. But this one has some great "choreograpy" about 2/3 of the way through.

Why proofreading is important.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Quaker Maid Meats Inc. on Tuesday said it would voluntarily recall 94,400 pounds of frozen ground beef panties that may be contaminated with E. coli.

Driving to work

Yesterday this buck followed Nica and I on our walk

It made me nervous, staying just 50 feet behind us.



No, it's eyes didn't really look like that.

I have decided on the picture for my Christmas cards this year

Ok, probably not. But it's tempting.

Golden Gate Bridge Suicides By Location

I find it interesting that few people ever walk to the very center of the bridge.

It also pays to ride a bicycle.

I want this keyboard

Since I work with kids, I need this. Because monochrome keyboards are boring.

Bird Flu Claims First U.S. Victim

This is an odd and frightening idea.

ORFORD, N.H. - The one-room cabin David Bischoff built in a cow pasture three years ago has no electricity, no running water, no phone service and no driveway. What it does have is a wide-open view of nearby hills and distant mountains — which makes it seven times more valuable than if it had no view, according to the latest townwide property assessment. He expects his property taxes to shoot up accordingly.

This is a nice ad

It breaks a rule by giving you no idea what the product is, but it's still nice to watch.

Nasa Video

Yes, this really is a NASA video:

"A ballerina gracefully dances on a small stage. She is followed not by a male partner, but by a robotic arm manipulator that seems to sense her every move. For NASA Goddard technologist Vladimir Lumelsky, the performance shows the future of robotics."

But before you watch it I want to say just one thing.

"Penis."

Powerful Advertising

Watch the first video. You may have to listen to it twice to figure out the accents.

This is an incredible advertisement for education for all kids.

If Fox News had been around throughout history

I am amazed at the number of hotels I stay in that have Fox News on their lobby TV.

You Knit What?

Take a stroll through the archives.

"It makes me want to hurl.
It makes me want to scoop my eyeballs out with a teaspoon and end my misery.
It makes me wonder who thought it was a good idea to make yarn that looks like cat vomit.
It makes me wonder who the hell would actually wear that."

50 years of hunting, 50 years of great stories

“I heard a sound, looked up in the rocks and here’s a huge bear standing up there. So I automatically put the bead on his throat and pulled the trigger, and down the bugger went. Three times I shot him with my Winchester .32 caliber special carbine, three times he went down and then stood up again. I missed him the fourth time when he took off through the timber, but hit him behind the ear with the fifth shot.

Cool Food Embossers

I want one that says, "Antidote - $20".

The Polio Comic

Click on the PDF to download.

This is a good example of how learning CAN be fun.

My New Ride

1999 Pontiac Sunfire GT

Purchased from Troy Gary Auto Sales

It's sweeeet!

I'm going to put up a Christmas decoration this year

And if I feel particularly evil I'll give it a red nose.

Which mask should I buy?

I hate being a corporate shill but, well, they are kind of creepy cool.

Mad magazine covers

Roll your mouse over the page to see the various covers enlarge.

A little bit of nostalgia.

Last Year's Halloween Pumpkin

I just couldn't get into Halloween last year.

Extremepumpkins.com

Last year a friend had to pick me up before sunrise. I lit up both pumpkins I had carved to light the way to my house.

Later that day when we were teaching a class she explained that the differences in our world view could be explained by the fact that she carved happy pumpkins and mine were very odd mutants. (which is true - I like pumpkins that make people go "Ew!")

This site gave me some ideas for this year.

What to do about urban deer

"Basic female deer anatomy (or lack thereof) makes the Deer IUD and Deer Diaphragm impractical, and Deer Spermicide foam holds little hope because it has to be used just before mating—every time, of course, which could run into a lot of foam. Besides, foam has only proved effective when bucks also wear condoms."

Something that I should have been told 7 miles, 1400 feet and 30 minutes earlier

Not that I failed to notice once I got there.

Do you like beer?

Yum, yum, yum! Look at that great big frothy glass in Toi's hand. Wouldn't you just LOVE IT if a beautiful girl in a freaky cleavage-poppin' Oktoberfest outfit handed you a nice icy cold beer RIGHT NOW? Mmm, beer! Would you still drink it if . . .

A very good movie

Turn your sound off unless you like annoying French music.

For ~K

A very interesting due process case

"A Florida court will hear arguments on Friday in a case where the accuracy of a breathalyser is being scrutinised because the manufacturer has refused to release the source code."

If the breathalyser machine is your "accuser", should you have the right to examine it's source code to ensure that it is accurate?

Or can the source code be withheld from you because it is a "trade secret"?

It's probably a good thing I don't have kids. Part II

Although I am not a Star War's fan, this is a great kid picture.

I laughed, but I don't know why.

If I had one of these, I might actually take a bath.



Be nice. You know what I mean.

On the way to Kalispell

It's a controlled burn.

A really, really bad brand name. Especially for a disability product.

"Have you been dreaming of that unique custom wheelchair that would not cost you an arm and a leg? "

Er, actually, that's why some people use a wheelchair. It Literally DID cost them an arm and a leg to get in that chair.

Has this artwork gone too far?

Called Snow White And The Madness Of Truth, the installation features a photo of Hanadi Jaradat, a 29-year-old trainee lawyer who blew up herself and 19 Israelis in a Haifa restaurant in October.

The work is accompanied by a piece of Bach music entitled My Heart Is Swimming In Blood.

I found out how to make money off my dog

. . . the company behind the innovative form of advertising is appealing for owners of larger dogs to register their pooches for future "dogverts".

Nica probably wouldn't be good advertising for obedience school. Maybe for running shoes or "Deer B Gone" spray.

David Copperfield to 'magic' girl pregnant

1. The last time this happened there was a star in the east and three wise men.
2. Yeah, that's how my sister told my mom it happened.
3. This guy is wacko.
4. Didn't Michael Jackson already do this? Twice?

God DOES have a sense of humor

The cover photo on the latest issue of Patrick Buchanan's American Conservative magazine, bearing the cover line "After the Storm," is not that much different from many of the pictures coming out of the hurricane-stricken areas of the South. It shows a family of four children slogging through knee-deep water with two adult women. However, the "woman" on the far right is none other than well-known New Orleans drag queen and bartender Jack "Lady Charles" Nicholson.

Kara Hopkins, the magazine's executive editor, had no explanation other than "it was a good photo."

Bad Dog!

A message board I'm on recently held a contest for the worst "Bad Dog" pun.

You have been warned.

My two rottweillers, Abing and Aboom, started a protection racket in the neighbourhood, forcing other dogs to surrender a portion of their food and chewable toys in exchange for being left well alone. They carry out their operations with, I hate to admit, a certain degree of panache and swagger, vaguely reminiscent of a particular flavour of organised crime.
Bad Abing! Bad Aboom!

My dog Jur yanked free of his leash and started trying to dig up a burrowing woodland creature.
Bad Jur!

My dog, Minton, recently chewed up my favourite shuttlecock.
Bad Minton!

I bought a dog, and he was a hopeless misbehaver. He chewed up the furniture, he crapped on the carpet, and he bit the UPS lady. We got thrown out of obedience school after he started a brawl. I was ready to have him put to sleep, but my vet suggested I take him to the Oral Roberts Dog Obedience School. So I called 'em. They promised that, if I'd give them $500 and three weeks, they'd give me back a perfectly behaved dog. I was desperate, and I gave them the money and the dog.

Three weeks later, the ORDOS van pulled up in my driveway. The trainer got out, and he handed me a card with all the commands my dog would obey. He opened the side door, and my dog, perfectly groomed, stepped out with a little mortarboard on his furry noggin. I said, "down," and he laid down, watching me. I threw a tennis ball, and I said, "fetch." He dashed to the ball and brought it back, dropping it in my hand. The trainer left, and I was still not convinced. I told him, "Sit. Stay," and he did. I got in my truck, and I went to the drugstore to get some naproxen. When I got back, he had not moved an inch. I thought, "This is great! We'll go for a walk." I put a leash on him, and I said, "heel." His eyes widened. He rose up on his hind legs, he put a paw on my head, and he said, "Heeeeeeal!"

Trapped moose baffles would-be rescuers

"All I saw was it going over the side, and I wasn't sure what -- 'Holy cow! This sucker's going to go to the bottom,'?" Howlett said Friday. The moose had been running when it popped out of the brush and went over the edge, he said.
"We were kind of horrified. My wife got a short glimpse of it," Howlett said. They did not see it land on the bluff. They circled back, expecting to see the moose on the beach, but instead found it on the steep slope about halfway down.

Interesting Court Case

Detroit, Michigan (AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Detroit Lions, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

This time of year, I can get up before sunrise.

Mutant Kitty

This would freak me out.

Want it!

This is a very cool fireplace and I want one in my bathroom.

Weather Bulletin from Montana and North Dakota

Up here in the Northern Plains we just recovered from a "Weather Event" of "Biblical Proportions" with a historic
blizzard of up to 24" inches of snow and winds to 50 MPH that broke trees in half, stranded hundreds of motorist in lethal snow banks, closed all roads, isolated scores of communities and cut power to tens of thousands.

George Bush did not come....FEMA staged nothing....no one howled for the government...no one uttered an expletive on TV...nobody demanded $2,000 debit cards.....no one asked for a FEMA Trailer House....no news anchors moved in.

We just melted snow for water, sent out caravans to pluck people out of snow engulfed cars, fired up wood stoves, broke out coal oil lanterns or Aladdin lamps and put on an extra layer of clothes.

Even though a Category "5" blizzard of this scale has never fallen this early...we know it can happen and how to deal with it ourselves.

Everybody is fine.

Iraq Car Bomb Video

This is scary.

Damn foreigners and their lack of humor

You know that at the time this probably seemed real funny. If you were holding the chain saw.

UM forestry students apologize to band

MISSOULA — Forestry students at the University of Montana have apologized to a visiting Japanese marching band after some residents complained they had threatened band members with chain saws during UM's homecoming parade.

The Forestry Student Association's float was behind the Senshu University Tamana Senior High School Drum and Brass Crops from Kumamoto, Japan, during the Oct. 1 parade.

As thousands watched, some members of the forestry group crowded the rear of the visiting band, brandishing and intimidating its members with chain saws, minus the chains. The group has used chain saws in its floats for years, razzing parade entries in front of them and residents who line the parade route.

Bet on Jesus

If someone brought these out at a poker game I would make very, very sure to tell them that bluffing is the same as lying in the eyes of Jesus.

And then, because I am not a Christian, I would lie, lie, lie and take all of their money.

Because that's what poker is all about.

Collectis - Automated Boar Collection System

(movie)

I don't know where to start:

1. It's pigs. They collect "stuff" from the male pigs. It's probably NSFW.
2. It's like the MTV version of an industrial film. Cool music, good editing, etc.
3. Did I mention what it's about?
4. We used to play a game on road trips - "Worst Jobs To Do With A Tequila Hangover". This job would make the top 10.
5. Ewwww.

Dan caught a fat 19 inch rainbow on the Missouri

We spent our Columbus Day holiday floating the Missouri, catching fish and eating ham sandwiches on a fallen log while staring at the Tobacco Root mountains in the distance and listening to cranes and geese.

Hope you had a good holiday too.

I always hated those little blue things

The short film pulls no punches. It opens with the Smurfs dancing, hand-in-hand, around a campfire and singing the Smurf song. Bluebirds flutter past and rabbits gambol around their familiar village of mushroom- shaped houses until, without warning, bombs begin to rain from the sky.

A Bad Day Fishing Is Better Than A Good Day At Work

Well, not always.

"I was fishing when the line got snagged on something and as I pulled it, I just felt something hit me on the face and knock me to the floor," said Mr Williams.

"To be honest, I didn't know what had happened, but when I put my hands to my face they were covered in blood."

Complete with x-ray goodness.

Driving to work this morning

The Ig Nobel Awards are out!

The 2005 Ig Nobel Prize Winners

The 2005 Ig Nobel Prizes were awarded on Thursday evening, October 6, at the 15th First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, at Harvard's Sanders Theatre. You can watch archived video of the live webcast.

AGRICULTURAL HISTORY: James Watson of Massey University, New Zealand, for his scholarly study, "The Significance of Mr. Richard Buckley’s Exploding Trousers."
REFERENCE: "The Significance of Mr. Richard Buckley’s Exploding Trousers: Reflections on an Aspect of Technological Change in New Zealand Dairy-Farming between the World Wars," James Watson, Agricultural History, vol. 78, no. 3, Summer 2004, pp. 346-60.

PHYSICS: John Mainstone and the late Thomas Parnell of the University of Queensland, Australia, for patiently conducting an experiment that began in the year 1927 -- in which a glob of congealed black tar has been slowly, slowly dripping through a funnel, at a rate of approximately one drop every nine years.

MEDICINE: Gregg A. Miller of Oak Grove, Missouri, for inventing Neuticles -- artificial replacement testicles for dogs, which are available in three sizes, and three degrees of firmness.
REFERENCES: US Patent #5868140, and the book Going Going NUTS!, by Gregg A. Miller, PublishAmerica, 2004, ISBN 1413753167.

LITERATURE: The Internet entrepreneurs of Nigeria, for creating and then using e-mail to distribute a bold series of short stories, thus introducing millions of readers to a cast of rich characters -- General Sani Abacha, Mrs. Mariam Sanni Abacha, Barrister Jon A Mbeki Esq., and others -- each of whom requires just a small amount of expense money so as to obtain access to the great wealth to which they are entitled and which they would like to share with the kind person who assists them.


ECONOMICS: Gauri Nanda of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, for inventing an alarm clock that runs away and hides, repeatedly, thus ensuring that people DO get out of bed, and thus theoretically adding many productive hours to the workday.

CHEMISTRY: Edward Cussler of the University of Minnesota and Brian Gettelfinger of the University of Minnesota and the University of Wisconsin, for conducting a careful experiment to settle the longstanding scientific question: can people swim faster in syrup or in water?
REFERENCE: "Will Humans Swim Faster or Slower in Syrup?" American Institute of Chemical Engineers Journal, Brian Gettelfinger and E. L. Cussler, vol. 50, no. 11, October 2004, pp. 2646-7.

FLUID DYNAMICS: Victor Benno Meyer-Rochow of International University Bremen, Germany and the University of Oulu , Finland; and Jozsef Gal of Loránd Eötvös University, Hungary, for using basic principles of physics to calculate the pressure that builds up inside a penguin, as detailed in their report "Pressures Produced When Penguins Pooh -- Calculations on Avian Defaecation."

Dolphins sing 'Batman' theme

Well, it's an easy one to remember the lyric.

It's probably a good thing I never had kids

Looking like an old-fashioned comedy hand grenade, the Sonic Alarm will wake pretty well anything up. Simply pull the pin, yell an emphatic "fire in the hole" and lob the grenade into the sleeper's room. After ten seconds a very annoying and piercingly loud noise (there are three volume settings) will blast out from the alarm. That's not all however, what makes this especially great is that to stop the alarm the sleeper has to find you so you can put the pin back in.

If anyone is looking for my Christmas gift . . .

Handmade Knit Men`s SOCKS (WOOL DOG 100%)
High quality cheap cannot be.

A nice walk in the woods today

Even nicer because I kept Nica on a leash so she didn't get to go chase the elk we saw.

I Guess I Never Looked At It That Way

Here's a movie you may have seen, in a way that you may not have thought about it.

A Festival for Lost Testicles

I have never gone to this because I no longer have the desire to be around that many very drunk people. The link is SFW on the first page, but not thereafter.

If you stop at the bar you can ask to see the albums for each year. Not only are they NSFW, they are both scary and, if you ask for the "Tony and Tina" album, downright intimidating.

War IS good for penguins and other living species

There's a mating ritual going on in the minefield.

Fortunately the would-be lovers are penguins, too light to detonate the deadly mines laid more than two decades ago during a war on the far-flung Falkland Islands.

Thousands of penguins and other feathered and amphibious friends choose to nest and rest in no-go zones. The British estimate that some 25,000 land mines, mostly sown by Argentine forces in the 1982 war with Britain, remain.

On a recent day, the squawking penguins were busily finding partners, preparing nests and waddling about the mating grounds.

Wildlife numbers in the mined areas appear to be on the rise and conservationists cannot hide their enthusiasm about this unorthodox form of protecting lands previously trampled by people or overgrazed by sheep.

This pirate dog seriously wanted to kick Nica's ass

Montana Quarters Recalled

The U. S. Treasury announced today that it is recalling all of the Montana quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state.

"We are recalling all the new Montana quarters that were recently issued," Treasury Undersecretary Jack Shackleford said Monday.

"This action is being taken after numerous reports that the new quarters will not work in parking meters, vending machines, pay phones or other coin-operated devices."

Shackleford said the problem lies in the unique design of the Montana quarter, which was created by a recent graduate of Montana State University in Bozeman.

Apparently, the duct tape holding the two dimes and the nickel together keeps jamming the coin-operated devices

This sign from Glasgow makes my head hurt

OK. So . . .

1. I have to get permission to trespass.
2. But in order to get permission, I have to trespass on the property to ask if I can have permission to tresspass.
3. Which is trespassing.
4. But once I have permission, I can trespass.
5. But if I have permission, I'm not trespassing.

I figure this person makes his or her living writing federal rules.

Pets In Uniform

There are weird things that are understandable, there are weird things that are beyond understanding.

"Imagine: your dog, cat, or other pet in full military regalia."

Find A Human

Here's a listing of phone codes for numerous companies that will allow you to talk to a human without spending 20 minutes in voice jail.

Another fund raiser for New Orleans

I particularly like these two qoutes:

"This is not an instant process. Basically, you’ll have an account as soon as we can get to it."

But still, send us your money.

"Also, if any charities would like to work directly with us to make this process easier on everyone’s part, please email me at the above address."

Because nothing says "I want to help." like asking women to send you pictures of their breasts and then charging people to look at those pictures.

How the Red Cross will spend your dollar (bills)

Strip shows are back in the city's famous French Quarter. Erotic dancers and strippers are entertaining crowds of police, firefighters and military personnel instead of the usual audiences of drunken conventioneers and tourists in Bourbon Street's Deja Vu club, which reopened this week.

What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits the windshield?

After crossing the Missouri south of Culbertson bugs began hitting the windshield. Not all at once, but one every minute or so. Each bug made the same "pop" noise and left an identical mark. For 25 miles it was like driving through a slow snowstorm. After a while I learned to watch for them like they were snowflakes, leaning forward in my seat, cheering those who would rise up at the last millisecond and avoid the windshield, wincing as the slow or unlucky came hurtling at the windshield, oblivious to their fate until the last terrible, final instant when what had been the air supporting them became the hardest thing they had ever known and they became one more identical mark, anonymous in their death.

Man it's boring driving in northeast Montana.

Greetings From Glasgow

I'm on tour this week, Helena to Havre to Glasgow to Sidney to Miles City to Billings to Helena.

So You Wanna Be A "Hooters" Girl?

A peek at the beloved boobs-and-beer emporium's employee handbook.

Tongue Eating Fish

Anyone care to explain this by "Intelligent Design"?

A gross creature which gobbles up a fish's tongue and then replaces it with its own body has been found in Britain for the first time.

Absolutely Brilliant Idea

Every time protesters gather outside of our Locust Street health center, our patients face verbal attacks from them. They see graphic signs meant to confuse and intimidate. They are sometimes blocked from entering the building and occasionally they are videotaped. They are offered anti-choice propaganda and free rides to the closest "crisis pregnancy center."

You can stand with others in the community against these acts of intimidation and harassment

Here's how it works: You decide on the amount you would like to pledge for each protester (minimum 10 cents). When protesters show up on our sidewalks, Planned Parenthood Southeastern Pennsylvania will count and record their number each day from October 1 through November 30, 2005. We will place a sign outside the health center that tracks pledges and makes protesters fully aware that their actions are benefiting PPSP. At the end of the two-month campaign, we will send you an update on protest activities and a pledge reminder.

Friday Night Kayaking

If Goths Ruled The World

Sarah, this one is for you.

Why Europe will never conquer the US

Supposedly, this video isn't as old as you might think.

I like the dancer with brown hair, but not enough to be a member of this band.

Yeah, about the "tan" wristbands . . .

Dead Link.

It was about the people who wear the tan wristbands for charity.

Tan rubber bands.

The World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"

The girl said "No."

And the guy lived happily ever after and went golfing a lot.

THE END

Eh, who's dead, doc?

Bugs W. Bunny
LIVINGSTON - Bugs W. Bunny, 47, of Livingston, died Wednesday, Sept. 7, 2005, at his home. Funeral services will be at 11 a.m. Monday, Sept. 12, at the Livingston Church of God. Graveside committal and burial will follow at 2 p.m. Monday, in Mountainview Cemetery, Big Timber. Franzen-Davis Funeral Home of Livingston is in charge.

Published in the Billings Gazette on 9/9/2005.

First Snow - Saturday morning on McDonald Pass

Stupid Quotes About Hurricane Katrina

5) "Considering the dire circumstances that we have in New Orleans, virtually a city that has been destroyed, things are going relatively well." —FEMA Director Michael Brown, Sept. 1, 2005

12) "Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?" –House Majority Leader Tom Delay (R-TX), to three young hurricane evacuees from New Orleans at the Astrodome in Houston (Source)

13) "We finally cleaned up public housing in New Orleans. We couldn't do it, but God did." –Rep. Richard Baker (R-LA) to lobbyists, as quoted in the Wall Street Journal (Source)

How to bother your neighbors

1. Have your dog roll in dead fish.
2. Give your dog a hose bath, using dishwashing soap and tea tree conditioner.
3. While the dog is running around wildly shaking herself, open the back gate.
4. Have neighbors across the street sit on their front step enjoying a glass of wine and the sunset.
5. Have dog run up their 14 steps at full speed, stop on porch and shake herself off.
6. Shout at dog to stop, while trying not to laugh out loud.
7. Repeat shaking dog.
8. Have neighbors wife run inside and wave her arms wildly behind screen door,
9. Repeat step 6.
10. Realize that you can never apologize to neighbors with a straight face, because it was pretty funny to watch, even if if was wrong.

The Katrina Premium

Why the hurricane may hurt the economy more than 9/11

Sundown at Granite Park Chalet

Priceless

Pair of Patagonia "seconds" long underwear: $13

Lending clothing to a fellow camper: No charge

Having Kittie run around the hotel in pink longjohns: Priceless